The Bulletin Week 12 - Welcome to Harry's

A.W. I - Armadillos Awesome Again:

Apparently buoyed by a trip to Harry’s Bar, Kurt Prewitt and his Duncanville Armadillos served notice of who is the Top Dog in the BDFL (regular season) in 2016. And, it was famous, former Harry’s bartender, not Scott Allen, but Mukes, who took it on the chin – er – on the rear-end in Week 12. The ‘Dillos have “packed a punch,” all season long in Fantasy Football, and the Three Toed Tree Dwellers were on the wrong end of this one from the very beginning, losing “going away,” 41-9. The vict’ry – A.W. Style – moves K.P.’s team to a BDFL-best, 10-2, on the season, and the ‘Dillos have the lead in the overall Total Points category, so… they’ll probably be the Number One seed in the Big Daddy Championship Series. Mukes has long since been eliminated from the BDCS, but will enjoy his time at Harry’s on the “other” side of the bar, assuming “the law” doesn’t show up, with his “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award.

A.W. II - ‘Nauts Fall in Fashion Following Sneak Attack:

The Jugtown Juggernauts have enjoyed a productive season in the BDFL, but Allyson’s girls were hammered this past weekend by the Magic City Mayors, 49-9, and that’s an A.W. It was a “sneak attack” by the Cronies against the ‘Nauts while they were celebrating yet another Iron Bowl vict’ry. “Well,” said A.E. “Sometimes it happens where you get away from the process.” Meanwhile, the win is huge for the Mayors, who are “on the bubble” for getting into the Big Dance, and having a chance to win the Grand Daddy Trophy.

A.W. III - Bullets Blast Brother, 42-12:

In another stunning A.W. in Week 12, the Benton Bullets jumped all over the Black Creek Wooden Warriors at the friendly confines of Rebel Stadium in Hayneville on Sunday. However, it was the Super Dome in the Big Easy where the Bullerino got most of his fire-power. Bullets in Saints uniforms (QB-Brees, RB-Ingram, and WR-Snead) accounted for 33 of the Benton Town Councilman’s points. Hime Hand may know more about the penal code from his Criminal Justice background, but Bullet is up on all the city or town ordinances that can show you how to deal with protestors, incumbents, clerks, nare-do-wells, outsiders, trouble-makers, punks, thugs, long-haired freaky people, illegal immigrants, and Native Americans. The win also pulls the Bentonites to 6-6 in the W-L column and within reach of the BDCS. Like Mukes… Jaimie awaits the Big Mullet Series and hopefully, a big ol’ box of chicken (or at least some wings).

Cheetahs Teach Dogs a Lesson:

He may be a grand-dad. He may be the Total Points Leader in the Gray Beard Division. He may be the elder statesman of the League. But, one thing for sure about Butch Neal, is he knows how to handle an outdoor yard dog. The Sin Wagon, steered by Ol’ Butch, ran right over the Brookside Dogs on Sunday, 30-19, without ever swerving or slowing down. Burr’s Bunch was left as road kill on the side of Main Street (or Goose Alley) in Brookside, Alabama. However, Dog still looks to be in decent shape to make the Big Dance, so, his dream remains a possibility to end his 21-year losing streak in the BDFL.

Mad Jack Wins OT Thriller Over Blitz:

Mad Jack and his “on again - off again” Mean Machine turned down a ride home from T-Town with Dog after the Iron Bowl to stay in town and get ready for Sunday’s Showdown with the Druid City Blitz. At first it didn’t look like a good plan, but the Fairfield Powersleds caught lightning in the second half, and roared back to tie the Red Baron’s and then capture the vict’ry in overtime. The win is very advantageous for the Mean Machine, pulling them to 6-6 on the season, and with a shot at making the BDCS. As for the Blitz, the 28-28, OT loss is nothing short of catastrophic. It drops the Gritz Blitz to 8-losses, meaning they will fall below the Bullet Rule and will be relegated to the Big Mullet Series, and continue their streak of years in the Null Set Club.

Gamblers Roll Past Pixie Dusters, 24-19:

The Gulf Coast Gamblers staved off elimination for at least another week by edging the Pasco County Wizards down in Tampa Town. Kenny “Real Deal” Breal is already firmly on the edge of elimination with 7-losses, but for the second consecutive week, the “high rollers” dodged devastation by picking up another crucial vict’ry. The Gamblers got past the Pixie Duster with a little magic of their own, and are still “mathematically alive” for the BDCS. Parks, on the other hand, has been eliminated for some time now, and is readying his homestead for a potential Crimson Tide fan invasion.

The Commissioner Wrestles the Woo Crew into Submission:

Coach Franks, Gary Erwin, and Steve Mordecai would have been proud of the wrestling exhibition put on by the leader of WARTS and the Commissioner on Sunday. For a couple of old codgers, Tommy T. and Chris Hand put on a pretty good show over at Foster Auditorium following the Iron Bowl. However, when the “consolation” three one-minute periods were over, it was the Commish who finished “ahead on points” over the Woo Crew, 26-12. The Bulletin has yet to confirm that both participants were taken to DCH Regional Medical Center for observation after the match.

Slovaks “on the Brink,” Benefit from Monday Night Magic:

The Oak Mountain Fighting Slovaks, on the brink of blowing one of the best starts in the hist’ry of their beleaguered franchise, hit the skids. The Pi Cap Caravan – piloted by ASlo – was running outta gas, and oil, and shocks, and decent tires. The EuroTrash Talkers had virtually disappeared from virtual reality, cyber-space, Internet, the World Wide Web, Snap Chat, Twitter, Instagram, and the Jednota. They had lost three of their last four games. They trailed by one point in Week 12, going into Monday Night Football. But, the Slovaks got some Monday Night Magic (6 points from a WR), and rebounded to beat the Where Are They Now Wildcats, 27-22. That gives ASlo 7-wins. Now, the Slovaks are not in the Top 8 in Total Points, but they do lead the pitiful Green Horn Division. So, we’re saying… “there’s a chance.”

“It’s all about the kids.”

In the Jr. BDFL, just one week remains in the regular season. The Arrington boys are coming on strong, and are threatening the last first round “bye” spot. The defending champion Rebel City Netters (Ethan) roared to a season-high 80-points in Week 12 to pull within striking distance of the Top Four. Meanwhile, a big week by the Fultondale Renegades (Kevin) has temporarily moved them out of 13th. The Grizzly Burrs have now joined the Future Slovaks at the bottom in “high risk” of being eliminated after next week.