Alleged Quotes from in and around Bama Games:

Greg Ballew: “They better show me something.”

Don Satcher: “Shug Jordan, smartest coach in America.”

Billy Joe Dowd: “Reckon’ Tiffin can kick it that far?”

Un-named in No Teeth: “I wanna big ol’ box of chicken.”

Un-named in Gainesville: “(Kerwin Bell) He’s getting…” [sorry, kids might be reading.]

Un-named in Abercrombie Hall section: “Rum, rum, rum… shot of Coke.”

Un-named to Bucket: “This is not your normal position, is it?”

Bullet: “We’ll meet at the bird cage after the vict’ry.”

Steve: “They’ll work it out.”

Parks to Jarvis or Jarvis to Parks: “You going to Bucket’s party tonight?”

Jarvis to Parks or Parks to Jarvis: “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Jaimie (to UT fans): “Who’s 16?”

Bullet: “These are exactly the same people that left the LSU game early.”

Greg Ballew: “I miss the good ol’ days when you could kick back at halftime, smoke a cigarette, and talk about the good ol’ days.”

Jaimie: (at Music City Bowl, double-birding Minnesota, while sitting next to his parents, when questioned): “It’s a tradition.”

Bullet: “Honey Badger. Honey Badger takes what he wants, right? Well, I guess he wanted to take an @$$-whipping tonight.”

A Trio of Undefeated Teams Entered Week Four:

Three BDFL teams entered Week Four with undefeated, 3-0 records on the season. All three of the franchises were from the up-and-coming Null Set Club. Once again the Null Set Club is a group of BDFL Franchises that have never won a BDFL Championship. The “Club” includes the Dogs, Wildcats, Slovaks, Juggernauts, Blitz, and Armadillos. Only one member has a chance to ‘escape’ each season, as only one team can actually win the title and lay claim to the Grand Daddy Trophy.

Nauts Winning Streak Gunned Down by Bullets:

The 3-0 winning streak was fun while it lasted for the Jugtown Juggernauts. But, A.E. encountered the Benton Bullets on Sunday afternoon, and the party was over. Actually, she stopped by Section L, Row 8 at Bryant-Denny Stadium on Saturday evening to visit the Bullerino and try and pick up any useful information for their BDFL-sanctioned event. But, all the ‘Nauts got in return was an “L.” Allyson’s first loss of the season, was a pill hard to swallow, but she was done in by starting a QB (Aaron Rodgers) who actually had an “off” week. Bullet also had two Green Bay Packers who were “off” in Week Four… but, he started other players – in their place – and picked up the vict’ry.

Blitz and Dogs Battle it out in Null Setters / Host War:

In the most recent battle between the traditional “Host with the Most,” Jerry Fritz – for hosting most of the recent Super Bowl Gala’s – and the “Johnny-Come-Lately” Super Host, Mark Burr – for having the last couple of Miller Genuine Drafts at his house – it was a bare-knuckles brawl for most of the weekend. Both participants were “cut in about a hundred places and shot in a couple more,” when the dust cleared. The winner by TKO, that’s technical knockout, was the Brookside Dogs, who rallied late to post an A.W. against DaBlitz.

Armadillos Remain Undefeated:

The only “undefeated” team to remain that way after the smoke cleared in Week Four, was the Duncanville Armadillos. After a weekend of living it up in T-Town, at 16 Audubon Place, K.P. dropped the Southside Cheetahs in BDFL action, by ten points, or so. As for Butch, he’s so elated to be a grand-dad, and the first grand-dad (that we know about) in the BDFL that he’s just kinda phoning it in in Fantasy Football action at this point. Smart money is betting that he’ll get his act together after some of the new wears off.

In Brother Battle, Grenadiers Sickle Warriors:

Now hanging out at Chris’s house in Tuscaloosa didn’t have the same effect for ol’ Bocephus in Week Four. Now, don’t get us wrong, ol’ Hime had a good time on Saturday at the Homecoming parade with his spouse and four lovely deductions. He even got to high-five some of the select members of the Pi Beta Phi sorority on University Boulevard during the festivities. However, when it was time to get down to business on Sunday in the BDFL, older brother, Chris, showed him who was boss. “He really showed me something,” said Jaimie. “He really gave me an A.W. What can I say?”

Wizards Lose Again:

The person who years ago held the position of fourth, or “honorary Hand Bro,” Jeff Parks was defeated in Week Four by the Magic City Mayors in a game that was never close. In case you are keeping score at home (and we know you are – despite the excellent work of WARTS), the “honorary Hand Bro,” tag currently belongs to K.P. The position over the years has been held by – in no certain order – Tommy Kinney, Old Barry, Paul Fields, Birdman, and Parks and maybe a few others that the Bulletin can’t mention at this time due to pending litigation. Arrington, who was close several years ago along with Earl White, may not achieved the actual status (on paper) and is probably better off for it, was just glad to pick up a WIN in Week Four.

Stop the Slovaks (Sloths could not):

When the Bulletin staff receives the preliminary WARTS report from its select, secret, sources, the editorial staff goes over it with a fine tooth comb. (Comb the desert!) The document and scores are reviewed with precise reviewing strategy (kinda like Dale Cook looking at game film). When anomalies are found they are researched and investigated and either confirmed or proved false. The Slovaks winning any game is an anomaly. When they win two in a row, red flags are evident. But, in this week’s review… it looks like the Fighting Slovaks won again by defeating the Sloth Monsters. However, the Bulletin is suggesting you check the front page of the BDFL website, just to confirm. Thank you very little.

In Old Roommate Match-Up, James Gang Tops Mean Machine:

In the Bulletin’s research it has not been proven that Jerry James and Jack Barnes were ever called “the odd couple” in their years of rooming together in college. But something about the two screamed of Felix Unger and Oscar Madison. If you never saw the play or the 1970s TV series, then you have no idea what we are talking about, and that’s your fault not ours. We can’t educated everyone on everything, especially pop culture from the 70’s. At any rate, Jerry beat Jack in Week Four in the BDFL if that’s what you really wanted to know. If you wanna know about them being roomie’s you’ll have to ask them. But, beware, they’ll take the high road and not say anything bad about one another.

Woo Crew Crumbles Against Gamblers:

Always sticking to his age old, forged in iron, and tested in fire, theory of “not” peaking too soon, the Smoke Rise Woosiers lost another early season game. In Week Four, the Woo Crew was shot down by the Gulf Coast Gamblers in a casino-near-you in Biloxi. Tommy T. is never embarrassed by losses in September or October as long as his “Crew” is geared and primed for November and December. So, sit back and see how this strategy pans out in 2016.

“It’s all about the kids,” Jr. BDFL Update:

Hey kids, wanna try something fun? Okay, great… try “doing without.”

Chris, Jerome, and Jaimie mastered this theory and practicum (albeit lifestyle) in the 1970s. You just do without something you really want, and maybe even need a little bit. It builds character. And, look at all the character the Hand Brothers have all these years later. This week, Jr. BDFLers… “do without” an update here on the “main” BDFL website, on the Bulletin. If you behave, you’ll receive the Jr. BDFL scores and standings later in the week via email. Thank you very little.

Standings by total points (Prior to Week 4):