Bullets Begin with Win over Woosiers:

Oh yes, it’s a new season in the Big Daddy Football League, and anything can happen. Well, not anything. You know, the Fighting Slovaks are NOT going to win it all, but they are consistent and did pick up the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” in Week One (more on that later). However, with a new season optimism runs high and most teams think they at least have a chance to win the championship and take home the Grand Daddy trophy at the end of the season. In Week One, Two perennial contenders (and former champions) had their game decided by Three points. The Benton Bullets slipped past the Smoke Rise Woosiers 31-28. Bullet served notice that his Bullets are going to be a force to be reckoned with in 2016 in the BDFL. Meanwhile, the Woo Crew isn’t going to panic even though this is a big blow to the Dizzy Dean contingent losing to the Dixie Youth supporters this early in the season. The Woosiers are a traditionally strong team down the stretch and never want to peak too soon.

Optimism runs high early in the BDFL season, and never so evident anywhere else but in the hearts and minds of the supporters of the teams in the Null Set Club (those teams that have never won a BDFL Championship: Dogs, Juggernauts, Wildcats, Blitz, Armadillos, and Slovaks). Submitted for your approval, in example number one is the Jugtown Juggernauts, who sincerely believe this is their year. The Nauts got off to a good start by giving the Sloth Monsters an A.W. in Week One. Mukes was hardly affected by the loss chalking it up to beginner’s luck. In this particular case, beginner’s luck for the beginning of the season for A.E., who captured the “Top Dog of the Week” award.

(Speaking of Dogs) The so-called Patriarch of the Null Set Club, the former Super Banker himself, Mark Burr, was thrilled with his opening weekend performance. In fact, he was giving out free rubber grummet samples on Tuesday morning at the Synaflex annex offices in the Preserve. The Brookside Dogs defeated the Gulf Coast Gamblers 30-27 in Week One, and Dog proudly proclaimed it the beginning of the end of his personal 22-year losing streak in the BDFL.

In a head-to-head Null Set matchup, the Druid City Blitz upended the Oak Mountain Fighting Slovaks, 20-16. However, because the Blitz only beat another non-championship team, Jerry Fritz’s team doesn’t get any real recognition. In fact, BDFL team only get mentioned if they lose to the Slovaks. So, if you are keeping score at home (and we know you are – despite the great work of WARTS) that’s One Week in the books and One “Toilet Seat” award for ASlo.

With two kids now enrolled at the University of Alabama, Kurt Prewitt is spending more time in and around T-Town. With that in mind, the BDFL’s Armadillos have relocated from Duncanville, Texas to Duncanville, Alabama. It’s just west of T-Town on Highway 82, and it looks as though K.P. has leased some land from fellow A-Club member Mt. Cody. Speaking of the A-Club, K.P. was on the sidelines Saturday prior to kickoff of the Bama game and apparently hop-nobbed prior to the game with Paden Crowder (who was recognized for gaining notoriety for being in a long line of walk-ons at Alabama who claim to have some vague connection to some of the BDFL owners; people like Steve Cohen, Mike O’Toole, Mike Piver, and Jimbo Salem). Anyway, “Come Monday,” it paid off as the Duncanville Armadillos came from behind with a “miracle on Monday Night” to beat the Wizards by one, 33-32.

After the weekend, the Commissioner was buried. But, following Monday Night Football, Iron Hand’s Mineral Springs Grenadiers were the talk of City Café and Posey’s after an improbable explosion and a come-from-behind, 37-30 vict’ry over the Southside Cheetahs (formerly known as the Riverchase Cheetahs). Butch: are you a grand dad yet?

In the Bulletin, you really don’t want to be listed in the “in other action” section. It’s just not a good place to be. But, most of the BDFL’s rank and file understand that it’s just hard to come up with something good to say about all these teams and games on the same weekend. So, with that in mind, the Wooden Warriors did get off to a good start in 2016 by whipping the Where Are You Now Wildcats, 24-16.

In other action, the Magic City Mayors scored just enough points to defeat the Fairfield Powersleds, 29-27. The Bulletin staff heard it was an instant classic at Legion Field, but nobody was there to see it.

The Barn Burners, Hooks & Lures, and HDBS – Hayden District Bishop Squad, were all winners in Week One. (See scores below the “educational nugget”)