From underneath a rock in Media Void

Week 16: The Semi-Finals - “It’s a Festivus for the rest of us”

Dogs and ‘Nauts in Epic Struggle:

“Merry Christmas, my @$$,” said Dog. “We gotta win this game. Stupid Aubie-kicker let me down. We can’t concentrate on anything until after Monday Night Football, cause Allyson has got a receiver playing.” On the brink of competing for, and possibly winning his first-ever BDFL Championship, Mr. Mark Burr was on pins and needles all weekend and into MNF. The Number One Seeded Brookside Dogs have dominated all season. But, in the semi-finals of the Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS), they only scored 15-points. However, the score between Marks Mutts and the Jugtown Juggernauts was 15-14 following all of the action Saturday and Sunday in the NFL. While low-scoring, this semi-final game had been nothing but epic. The contrasting styles of play adding to the palatable taste in the differences of each franchise. A.E. & the ‘Nauts like the “light side” of the force, working for good, celebrating Christmas, and running along like the classic sitcom Happy Days, with everything working out around the life of Opie Cunningham. Meanwhile, the Dogs – from the wrong side of the tracks – in the forgotten Jefferson County town of Brookside appearing in the galaxy far away like the “dark side” of the force, trying every angle to win a title, and break a 24-year losing streak. The Super Banker turned Rubber Magnate adopting the Seinfeld (Costanza) “opposite” strategy and cut-throat mentality, and the embracing of the “Festivus,” holiday, with only one goal in mind: Win the BDFL “at all costs.” When the smoke finally cleared from this one, No One in the Milky Way Galaxy could believe the outcome. Dogs survived Monday Night to win 15-14.

Armadillos and Grenadiers Taking a Back Seat to No One:         

In the other semi-final match-up, The Commissioner himself (not unlike the Emperor Palpatine) returned to the Final Four with a vengeance, after scoring a Week 15 high of 45-points to dispense the Benton Bullets in the First Round of the BDCS. The Number Two seeded Duncanville Armadillos were not impressed. K.P.’s ‘Dillos have played great all season, and were not going to be intimidated by the Mineral Springs Grenadiers either on the field or in the Cyber Universe of the BDFL and its subsidiaries. Saturday’s NFL games did not go well for Old Iron. His vaulted QB was shut out by the lowly Bucs, and the Bucs QB threw four interceptions, but managed 3-points for Duncanville in an ironic game that would set the tone for the weekend. The Armadillos – who have been far from road kill this year – took that small 3-0 advantage from Saturday, and stretched it out all day Sunday. The Gut Grenades ventured into Monday Night Football being doubled-up (in more ways that one), and trailing the ‘Dillos, 30-15, and in ultimate “baggin’ formation,” with only one RB left standing to possibly bail The Commissioner out. Alas, it was not to be and the final outcome would force a BDFL Big Daddy Bowl that promises to be one for the ages, and it was one for the ages. They'll be talking about this one down in Mineral forever. The Grenadiers struck Green Bay Packer GOLD late on MNF as Aron Jones scored two late touchdowns with one over 50 yards to shock the Armadillos to death in the BDCS, 33-30.

Big Mullet Series Closes out Round Two:

The BDFL has long stood for “not rewarding” mediocrity. The Bulletin concurs… so, we’ll save our ink and MicroSoft Word 2020 memory, by refusing to report anything from the consolation bracket known as the Big Mullet Series (BMS). (However, the winner of the BMS will get the number one draft pick in the BDFL Pony Draft in the Spring, so the winner will have that going for them, plus with every game – BMS included – being worth $2, it all adds up, so… it’s not really worth nothing as there is pride involved and bragging rights, etc.) You may have noticed too, that the other BDCS games were also left out of this week’s The Bulletin. There are many good reasons, and excuses for this, and this publication will not bore you with but one of them: Bullet was so traumatized by losing last week – after scoring 40-points – and getting hosed by the bracket situation, that he absolutely found he could not go on. So, he dressed in velvet and sweat pants and waited for the Festivus to begin, including the “airing of grievances,” and the “feats of strength,” He also planned to watch the How the Grinch Stole Christmas marathon and pull for the Grinch to win.

Week 15 in the Jr BDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

In the JrBDFL, the Championship, Two-Week, Finale is still raging. The Winston County Walkers and the Benton Butterflies are trading touchdowns, field goals, negative plays and Cyber Sales Days. The Junior League – featured on “The Ocho,” ESPN 8 – has turned into quite a duel between two of the original JrBDFL franchises, each vying for their first-ever championship. The format is most points (combined) between Week 16 and Week 17 in the NFL. It has been too close to call, beginning on the NFL Saturday Triple Header. The Walkers and the Butterflies will enter the final weekend of the regular season in what looks like a “no holds barred,” and “knock down, drag out,” title tilt. May the best junior win. May the force be with you.