Bullet snags a t-shirt from a kid at Bryant-Denny Stadium during a recent Bama home game

From underneath a rock in Media Void

Week 5: No theme is a good theme

Grenadiers Whip Blue Deacons:

This was not Chris Hand’s first rodeo in Blount County. Anthony thought like Andy (in other words, he thought ki-ki was candy). Or you could say, he thought wrong. Bishop thought he could invite The Commissioner up to the backwoods of Blount County, and then take advantage of his home field advantage to produce a Week Five vict’ry in the BDFL. What the Heavy Duty Bishop Squad didn’t know was that Old Iron has lots of experience in the boonies of Blount County having run around with lots of players from those parts from his days at Wallace-Hanceville. So, Sharp Dressed had a field day running through Trafford and Nectar and Turkey Creek and even Blount Sprangs and the Top Hat on this whirlwind tour of Blount County and an epic A.W. over the Bishops, 51-11. 

Bullets Finally Taste Defeat:

The Benton Bullets were riding high in the saddle through the first four weeks of the 2019 BDFL and NFL seasons, but that came to a screeching halt at Driver Stadium at Ed Bruce Field on Sunday afternoon in Gardendale. The homestanding Jugtown Juggernauts shot the Bullets outta the saddle and pounded the Boys from Benton into submission under the shadow of the diagonal maroon and gray rockets just off Mt. Olive Road. The win was big for A.E. and Company and they celebrated by running the local regulars out of Pasquale’s and setting up a big party (complete with an inflatable of Buttcrack Bob) that ran well past the normal closing time at the famous pizzeria.

Bellcows Remain Winless After Losing to Lowly Blitz:

David Belrose joined the BDFL this season with an expansion franchise and hopes of just fitting in with all of the well-established teams. He was willing to do almost anything to be part of the group, including holding the umbrella at tailgating events, working the chains at JCCHS games with Old Bocephus, and listening to D.K. and Cue Ball stories during Bama pre-game festivities. Check, check, and check… but through five weeks of BDFL action, the Fieldstown Bellcows have yet to win a game. This past weekend, the BellHeads were defeated by the Druid City Blitz, 29-23. For Belrose, he’ll go back and look at the film and try to improve before Week 6, in the meantime…Jerry Fritz’ Gritz Blitz held a caravan party back from Fieldstown, through Coalburg, into Hooper City, Bessemer, Vance and finally into T-Town, waving a big “Cubs-like” flag with the big letter “W.”

Dogs Bounce Back with Big A.W. over Gamblers:

The Brookside Dogs fell off the “undefeated sled” last week in the BDFL, but they roared back in Week 5. Mr. Burr didn’t worry about the sled being ready, he just loaded the wagon. This one got “ugly early” on the Banks of the Five Mile Creek, as Mark’s Mutts put a “yard dog” whipping on the Gulf Coast Gamblers. By the time the Dixie Mafia collected their cards, chips, dice, and “wheel of fortune,” they were limping back south with a big old A.W. The Dogs didn’t let up after jumping out to a big lead, and then pulling away, and even running up the score to ignite yet another big celebration from Dog Town to Cardiff, to Crocker Junction to Republic and all points in between.

Sloths Sickle Cheetahs:
A “Five Points South Showdown” turned into a one-sided, runaway affair on Sunday afternoon. The Sloth Monsters rolled into Southside and then proceeded to break out the proverbial steamroller and roll all over the Cheetahs, 44-40. It was a big win for the Three Toed Tree Dwellers, who not only got the win, but a prize “shopping bag spree” at the Collage in Homewood after the vict’ry. As for Butch and his Sin Wagon, 2019 has thus far been a disaster. The Cheetahs don’t seem to be competitive this year, and they can show proof of that with another loss and a winless record thus far. Look for major changes for the Cheetahs as they look to turn things around in the next week, or two.

Wildcats Top Armadillos:

The James Gang “refused to lose” during the first BDFL/NFL weekend of October. The Western Hills Wildcats ventured out of their “comfort zone” up to Charlotte, NC to take on the Duncanville Armadillos. K.P. figured he was ready with his Carolina Panthers officially licensed products and wardrobe, including his “Ma Cam” Halloween costume. But, The Bulletin reckons that things blew up in the pointed faces of the ‘Dillos this weekend. J.J.’s never-say-die BioCats scored at will and scored a big road vict’ry in Week 5 BDFL action.

Freebirds Edged by Mayors:
The Mayor of Birmingham once allowed Lynyrd Skynyrd to play at venerable Rickwood Field. It remains the stuff of legends. The original Skynyrd line-up rocked the west side of the city in a concert that is still talked about more than 45-years later. To commemorate the occasion, the Fultondale Freebirds and the Magic City Mayors “squared-off” at the old ballyard this past weekend. Teletype reports say that it was a classic “back-and-forth” type of game with huge momentum swings, key turnovers, and clutch touchdowns. When the curtain finally fell sometime well past midnight, it was the Cronies who had scored the last TD to erase an early deficit and defeat the Freebirds by the final score of 22-21 in the closest game of the week in the BDFL. “If I leave here tomorrow…”

Dorians Outscore Sleds:

In a game that wasn’t decided until after Monday Night Football went off the air, the Altadena Dorians and the Fairfield PowerSleds battled in a high scoring duel that featured practically 20-lead changes. The score-a-thon began on Thursday Night and lasted all the way through Sunday and spilled into Monday. It was a “punch and judy and counter punch” game that turned into a “bare knuckle” brawl and then into a “no holds barred,” 15-round heavyweight caged competition for ultimate survival. Mad Jack’s Mean Machine and Barry’s Bastion of Greek-slaying Warriors would not back down and would not let up. It would’ve been an instant classic, except that no electronic media was present to cover the action. However, the wire reports received back at The Bulletin home office reports that the outcome literally came down to the last play of the game, and the Dorians got the win over the PowerSleds, 38-32.

Week 5 in the Jr BDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

In the JrBDFL, all the juniors were awarded participation ribbons by espn.com following Week 5 games.

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