From underneath a rock in Media Void

Week 11: Classic Western Movie Quotes - ‘Cause they’re cool

Week 11 of The Bulletin brings you the best quotes ever from Classic Western Movies (see below). And, at the bottom of The Bulletin there is a ranking of the best western movies of all time.

“I’m here to kick ass and drink whiskey, and I’m all out of whiskey.” - John Wayne

“You boys gonna pull those pistols, or whistle Dixie?” - Eastwood

“You tell ‘em I’m coming, and hell’s coming with me. Hell’s coming with me!” - Tombstone

Dogs Continue to Ride High in the Saddle:

What a year! Dog can’t even believe it. The Brookside Dogs continue to win. Mark’s Mutts continue to score a large number of points each and every week. The Dogs moved to a BDFL-best record of 10-1 in Week 11, with a narrow vict’ry over the Heavy Duty Bishop Squad, 27-26. The Former Super Banker turned Synaflex Rubber Tycoon is sticking with the George Costanza “opposite” routine and it is still producing results. The Dogs are continue to ride high in the saddle and find different ways to win. As for the Mt. High Blue Deacons… they are filing a formal protest against the Dreaded Schedule Maker (DSM). This past week, Bishop’s 26-points would have been good enough to defeat all but three BDFL teams, yet, alas, the Blount County Blue Boys are still the beneficiaries of a one-point loss.

“Dying ain’t much of a living boy.” – Eastwood

“Out here… due process is a bullet.” – John Wayne

“I’m your huckleberry.” - Tombstone

Juggernauts Shoot Down Dorians:

Week 11 in the BDFL did not feature one single A.W. That’s a little unusual but not completely without precedent according to the Elias Sports Bureau. The closest thing this weekend to a rear end whippin’ was the 37-17 vict’ry by the Jugtown Juggernauts over the Altadena Dorians. A look at the quick math shows that, that is a 20-point win, so just one point short of an A.W. Mr. Stephenson has to be embarrassed by losing to a Bunch of Girls. On the other side of the corral, it was a big win for the ‘Nauts, who not only get a big, lopsided win, but in shooting down the Dorians at the GHS Corral… A.E. gets the all important 7th vict’ry of the season to move out of rifle range of the proverbial Bullet Rule.

Seriously

“You see, in this world there’s two kinds of people, my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.” – Eastwood

“That’ll be the day.” – John Wayne

“You gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed.” – Tombstone

Mayors Force Mildcats to Leave Town:

Birmingham – aka – the Magic City has never been accused of being a Wild West Town. That moniker could be used for Brookside, Benton, and even parts of Blount County in the 1800’s. But, be that as it may, the Magic City Mayors did run the Western Hills Wildcats out of town on Sunday with their spurs tucked between their legs and their chaps, chapped. The Cronies put it on the “James Gang” in Week 11 by the final score of 27-13, and in the process forced them to leave town just after “High Noon.” The Mayors really needed to win to pull above .500 in the overall standings, while the loss was pretty much catastrophic for the Mildcats. It was the 8th loss of the season for the ‘Cats and that officially eliminates them from the Big Daddy Championship Series under the auspices of the Bullet Rule.

“You’re a daisy if you do.” – Tombstone

“You think you used enough dynamite there Butch?” – Butch & Sundance (Sundance)

“Generosity… that was my first mistake.” Eli Wallach (Magnificent Seven)

Cheetahs Gun Down Gamblers:

A team already eliminated from the BDCS under the aforementioned Bullet Rule is the Southside Cheetahs. Butch Neal’s team is just playing for pride at this point in the season. This past weekend, the Sin Wagon shot down the Gulf Coast Gamblers, 24-12. You could say that the Cheetahs have “circled the wagons,” and closed ranks and continued to march, even though the only place they can go – in 2019 – is the Big Mullet Series (BMS). The loss is very disappointing for the Dixie Mafia, and it also drops their overall season record to 5-6… and into last place in the Rugged Red Neck Division, where their chances are Slim & None… and Slim has his saddlebags packed.

“Skin it… go ahead, skin that Smoke Wagon and see what happens!” – Tombstone

“If God didn't want them sheared, He would not have made them sheep.” - Eli Wallach (Magnificent Seven)

“My mistake. Four coffins.” - Eastwood

Sloths Slip to Blitz (Monday Night Magic, Part 1):

Speaking of Slim… the Son of Slim – Michael Hewlitt Dismukes – had his hopes of making the Big Dance ruined in Week 11 in the Big Daddy Football League. Muke’s hopes were dashed in agonizing fashion. The Sloth Monsters had a lead after the smoke had cleared in BDFL action from Sunday. But, on Monday Night Football, the Druid City Blitz came out firing like Billy the Kid from a smoke-filled house, in an old trunk, with both barrels blazing. The Gritz Blitz did just enough damage to deal a devastating defeat to the Three Toed Tree Dwellers. Final Score: Blitz 18, Sloths 17. Now, Mukes finds his team at the top of the Green Horn Division in total points, but ironically eliminated from the BDCS under the non-winning-record clause of the Bullet Rule.

“We deal in lead, friend.” - Magnificent Seven

“You called down the thunder, well now you got it.” – Tombstone

"I'm looking for the owner of that horse. He's tall, blonde, he smokes a cigar, and he's a pig!" – Eli Wallach

Sleds’ Spurs Shine on MNF (Monday Night Magic, Part 2):

It was a terrible weekend for the Hand Brothers (not so much like the Earp Brothers). On Sunday, Bullet actually thought he was gonna “get outta Dodge,” with another vict’ry even though his team only scored 10-points. But, when Monday Night Football rolled around, the Benton Bullets found themselves on the “wrong end of a gun.” The Fairfield PowerSleds let their “spurs shine” on MNF getting some serious points from their PK and QB, and turning a loss into a win in Week 11. As for the Ol’ Bullerino, he’s not quite ready to “ride into the sunset,” but he’ll definitely have to go find a place to re-group for the stretch run.

“I got a writ for a rat.” – John Wayne

“I got two guns. One for both of you.” – Tombstone

“Boy, I got vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals.” – Butch & Sundance (Butch)

Bellcows Embarrass Bocephus & Company:

Another team eliminated from the BDCS rose from the ashes this past weekend to come up with a vict’ry. And, another Hand Brother (not unlike the Earp Brothers) tasted “hot lead,” in ignominious defeat. The Fieldstown Bellcows ambushed and “bush wacked” the Black Creek Freebirds, 18-9, in Week 11. The expansion Bell Heads have shown some fire since the midway point of the season, but they’ve also shown their not afraid to shoot somebody in the back. Belrose might have gotten Ol’ Bocephus into the LSWho game, but then he wasn’t afraid to give the Freebirds “both barrels” the next weekend in the BDFL. Hime only scored nine points, but he did not have the worst Hand point total in Week 11.

"My hypocrisy knows no bounds.” – Tombstone

“Who are those guys?” – Butch & Sundance (Sundance)

“Nobody throws me my own guns and says run. Nobody.” – Magnificent Seven

Armadillos Pistol Whip Grenadiers:

The Hand Brother (not unlike the Earp Brothers) who had the worst week was Chris Hand, the esteemed Commissioner of the BDFL. His Green Springs Grenadiers scored just three points and were subsequently “pistol whipped” by the Duncanville Armadillos – from the actual wild west – 15-3. However, for his efforts, the Commissioner was “self awarded,” the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak,” award and the prestigious “Bonehead” trophy for his lack-luster performance in Week 11.

“Why Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked all over your grave.” - Tombstone

"When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk." – Eli Wallach

“I’ll make you famous.” – Billy the Kid

Week 11 in the Jr BDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

In the JrBDFL, Ben Hand and Matthew Hand (Hand Cousins… not brothers) continue to hold the Top Spots in the West and East Divisions of the Junior League. The rest of what is going on with the teenagers remains a Western Mystery Novel, but the kids are behaving and only speaking when spoken to… or looking up from their mobile devices.

More quotes:

“He’s down by the creek… walking on water.” – Tombstone

“Graveyards are full of boys who are very young and very proud.” – Magnificent Seven

“He's a good gun, and we aren't going to a church social.” – Magnificent Seven

“Reap the whirlwind, Brady. Reap it.” – Billy the Kid

“I always heard there were three kinds of suns in Kansas… sunshine, sunflowers, and sons of bitches.” – Eastwood

Western Movie Rankings:

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

Butch Cassidy & the Sunshine Kid

Tombstone

True Grit (the original with John Wayne)

The Magnificent Seven (the original with Yul Brenner and Steve McQueen)

The Outlaw Josey Wales

Silverado

War Wagon

Hang ‘em High

High Noon

Bullet’s Birthday – In the Movies: Bullet’s Exact Birthday

(Animal House) “These are the charges as recorded this day... 15 November, 1962. Faithfully submitted... Douglas C. Neidermeyer... Sergeant at Arms.”