Bullet here with the owner of the BDFL's honorary team the North Pole Reindeer
From underneath a rock in Media Void
Week 12: Thanksgiving Edition
Week 12 of The Bulletin brings you the Thanksgiving Feast of game recaps like
you might find online.
Dogs 42 – Juggernauts 20:
Gamecast
Recap
Box Score
Play-by-Play
Stats
The Dogs keep rolling, and barking and biting
and lifting a leg in celebration. It is about the same story now every
week for the Brookside Dogs. Mark’s Mutts look at the schedule, see who
they are playing, come up with a game plan and then go out and execute
the plan to perfection. The only thing that chages is the victim, er,
opponent each week. In Week 12 in the BDFL, it was the Jugtown
Juggernauts’ turn to feel the pain of the canines. The Dogs put an A.W.
on the ‘Nauts, 42-20, and rested their starters for the second half –
and Monday Night Football. To add insult to injury, A.E. spent her last
Saturday at Bryant-Denny Stadium in the plush mezzanine section on the
west side of the stadium. Expansion (which is already underway) will
force Allyson to find another place to sit in the future seasons at
Alabama home games. As for Dog, he is really making his Uncle Ray proud.
Bullets 27 – Blitz 22:
Gamecast
Recap
Box Score
Play-by-Play
Stats
Speaking of Bryant-Denny Stadium, the Blitz and the Bullets battled
there in BDFL action this past weekend amidst the construction. It seems
that while the CTSN staff was moved out, along with the media mogul
Learfield Sports and Outdoors Slash Eye Em Gee Redio Free America
conglomerate, the “Two Jerome’s” were allowed to battle it out in
fantasy football. The game even lasted past regular business hours on
Monday, and into Monday Night Football. The Druid City Blitz received
15-points from former Heisman winner Lamar Jackson, but the Benton
Bullets countered with 9-points from former Heisman winner Mark Ingram
(who really used to play at BDS), and that was enough for the Bullets to
hold onto a big lead from Sunday, and outlast the Gritz Blitz by the
final score of 27-22.
Dorians 19 – Grenadiers 16:
Gamecast
Recap
Box Score
Play-by-Play
Stats
Chris Hand looked a little bit like the old hobo’s around the train
yard, taking his belongings in a sack, tied to a stick, slung over his
shoulder, as he moved out of his swank offices in BDS. The Commissioner
has been relegated to some quasi-offices in a half-@$$ shopping center
remodel on the other side of the river in T-Town. It’s an embarrassing
move for the BDFL, kinda like if the NFL offices had to vacate New York
City and move to Omaha, Nebraska (nothing against Omaha). Iron Hand kept
a stiff upper lip and went along with the move, and tried to make the
best of things. He got through Saturday and Sunday fine, but was shocked
on Monday Night Football, when the Altadena Dorians stormed back and
“snatched vict’ry from the jaws of defeat.” The win was big for Barry.
His beloved Dorians move to 6-6 on the season, and slightly reduce their
“pucker factor” for making the Big Daddy Championship Series.
Armadillos 34 – Gamblers 15:
Gamecast
Recap
Box Score
Play-by-Play
Stats
A team terrified and teetering on the brink of elimination from the BDCS is the Gulf Coast Gamblers. Why they are not gone already is a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, sprinkled with powdered sugar and tiny M&M’s. The Gamblers are last in the Rugged Red Neck Division, and would be hard-pressed to make the Big Dance without more than seven teams being knocked out via the Bullet Rule. However, they are still mathematically alive, despite being trounced in Week 12 by the Duncanville Armadillos, 34-15. Don’t worry though, the loss has dropped the Dixie Mafia to 5-7 on the season, so they’ll probably top the “Pucker Factor Poll” going into the Thanksgiving weekend. Meanwhile, the ‘Dillos lead the Red Neck Division in points and record, having moved to 9-3 on the season after gutting the Gamblers, and K.P.’s team appears to be a virtual lock for the BDCS.
Freebirds 31 – Blue Deacons 14:
Gamecast
Recap
Box Score
Play-by-Play
Stats
The Mt. High Blue Deacons suffered their 7th loss of the
season in Week 12, falling to the Black Creek Freebirds by 17-points.
So, the defending champions are practically already participants in the
Big Mullet Series. Yes. It would take a monumental comeback for the
Heavy Duty Bishop Squad to escape the cellar of the Green Horn Division,
and win two games in a row, to have a “snowball’s chance” of making the
Big Dance. On the big rock and roll stage is going to be the Freebirds
who are doing more these days than just playing encore’s of their
namesake song to sold out crowds across the Southeast. The team formerly
known as the Wooden Warriors doesn’t want to “knock on wood,” but
they’ve got a good feeling going into the stretch run, and their big,
31-14 vict’ry over the Bishops has moved them to 7-5 on the season and
safely above the restrictions of the Bullet Rule.
Sloth Monsters 33 – PowerSleds 8:
Gamecast
Recap
Box Score
Play-by-Play
Stats
Not to beat a dead horse or bring up the
ominous Bullet Rule more than absolutely necessary… but, a trio of BDFL
teams are playing really good football heading down the stretch drive,
and all three have already been eliminated under the “under .500”
standard – known as the Bullet Rule: Cheetahs, Sloths, and Bellcows.
These teams are playing for pride. They are playing for what the BDFL
stands for: great competition and great camaraderie. They refuse to
“Newman it,” or “Cliff Cleavin it.” In other words, they refuse to “mail
it in.” Example number one is the Sloth Monsters; this past weekend,
Muke’s team dominated the Fairfield PowerSleds and put an A.W. on Jack
Slovensky & Company, in a game that was not pretty. The win puts the
Three Toed Tree Dwellers in prime position to be the number one seed in
the Big Mullet Series. The loss drops the Mean Machine to 5-7 on the
season, and we all know what that means and now the Sleds will have to
play with a lot of pressure on them in the final two weeks of the
regular season – in other words – their pucker factor will be at
maximum.
Cheetahs 27 – Mayors 10:
Gamecast
Recap
Box Score
Play-by-Play
Stats
The Southside Cheetahs have played with fire
and desire ever since starting off 0-8 on the season, or maybe 0-9, who
can remember with these “bottom dwellers.” But, Butch and the Sin Wagon
has gotten out of the rut for the last couple of weeks. In Week 12, the
Cheetahs put it on the Magic City Mayors, 27-10. Now, it is the Cronies
who are in danger of not making the BDCS. The Mayors have fallen to 6-6
on the season, and will try to re-group for the stretch run.
Bellcows 16 – Wildcats 10:
Gamecast
Recap
Box Score
Play-by-Play
Stats
A long time ago, the BDFL decided NOT to award
mediocrity. To a certain degree, the Bulletin has followed suit, even
though this publication / webpage / blog remains independent and with
full editorial control (except when the Commissioner gets his feelings
hurt or thinks something might not be in the “best interest of the
league,” – kinda the “protect the pennant,” approach. The BDFL has a
“spirit pennant” instead of a logo, “shield.”) So, basically… a game
featuring two teams that have already been eliminated from the Big
Dance, doesn’t really deserve that much ink. So, the Bellcows beat the
Biocats, 16-10… good deal Mobile – which is a pretty close to where the
Big Mullet Series is hosted. Thank you very little.
Week 12 in the Jr BDFL - “It’s all
about the kids.”
In the JrBDFL, most of the teens are home for
Thanksgiving. They’ll be chipping in around the house to get all of the
preparations made for the upcoming Holiday Feast. In Fantasy Land… in
the “Real World,” they’ll be playing X-Box, PS4, or on their mobile
phones with the wireless, ear buds, “listening to Mick Jaegger music and
bad-mouthing their country, I’ll bet.” Well… in fairness… they’ll not be
bad-mouthing their country. Heck, they love it here. Meanwhile, in the
Junior League… Ben Hand leads one of the divisions and Matthew Hand is
on top in the other, and there’s been no complaining in the JrBDFL this
season… pass the gravy.
Classic Sitcom Thanksgiving Moments:
The Winner: WKRG in Cincinnati – The Turkey
Drop
Place: Friends – The Turkey on the head
Show: The Middle – King Neptune the last turkey
leg / Marines over for Thanksgiving
Honorable Mention: Cheers: Food fight
Honorable Mention: Mad About You: Murray (Dog)
jumps on table, eats the turkey
Honorable Mention: Seinfeld: Party at Tim
Whatley’s, Thanksgiving Parade
Honorable Mention: The Middle: Thanksgiving
moved to June