Bullet here with the owner of the BDFL's honorary team the North Pole Reindeer
From underneath a rock in Media Void
Week 13:
The Unlucky 13 Edition - Unlucky Monday Night for Four
The folks
at the Elias Sports Bureau will not return our calls. It looks like a
pure case of jealousy of the BDFL, The Bulletin, and @$$ (and
prior to that… WARTS). At any rate, with the crackpot staff at The
Bulletin and The Bulletin’s sources both in high and low
places, it has been determined that the outcome of a record FOUR games
in the BDFL changed on Monday Night Football. To be more precise, in the
Big Daddy Football League, in Week 13, MNF was very unlucky for a
quartet of teams. Four teams that led their BDFL games going into Monday
Night Football, saw those outcomes changed following the conclusion of
the MNF game between the Seattle Seahawks and the Minnesota Vikings.
Those four games are featured at the top of this week’s “Unlucky 13”
edition of the award-winning publication known as The Bulletin.
One of Four: PowerSleds Rally on Monday Night to Eliminate Gamblers:
In the most meaningful game in Week 13 in the BDFL to get pushed to a
pivotal outcome following Monday Night Football, this one takes the cake
between the Fairfield PowerSleds and the Gulf Coast Gamblers. Upon
further review, it also takes the pie, pudding and ice cream. Both teams
entered the weekend’s action with identical 5-7 records. So, the “Pucker
Factor” was at a maximum because the loser of this game would be
eliminated from the Big Daddy Championship Series (BDFL) by virtue of
the Bullet Rule, and both teams knew it going into the action on
Thanksgiving Day. The Mean Machine and the Dixie Mafia battled all
through the holiday weekend. The action was fast and furious. Every time
Mad Jack would make a move, Kenny B. would counter it. Late Sunday
night, after all of the weekend action, the Sleds and the Gamblers were
tied 19-19. Then, on Monday Night Football, the PowerSleds surged ahead
and went on to win 28-19 over the Gamblers to keep their BDCS dreams
alive, while the Real Deal & Company will remain along the Gulf Coast
for the post season in the Big Mullet Series (BMS).
Two of Four: Wildcats Wither on MNF:
The Western Hills Wildcats have long since been relegated to the BMS,
and felt the “agony of defeat” again this weekend in BDFL action. The
“James Gang” fell to a paltry 3-10 on the season. The Mildcats actually
had the lead going into MNF, but the Altadena Dorians rallied in the
last game of Week 13 in the NFL, to taste the “thrill of vict’ry” by the
final score of 29-27. Stephenson’s lean-and-mean team got only three
points on Monday Night, but that was enough to push them to a big win.
Now, while the Dorians may still be on the proverbial “outside looking
in,” for the Big Dance as far as total points go… their win over the
BioCats pushed their record to 7-6; above .500; and above to elimination
protocol of the Bullet Rule. So, the Dorians are guaranteed to have a
winning – or .500 record – at the end of the regular season and now must
try to grab one of the final spots in the BDCS.
Three of Four: Armadillos Make Heavy Duty Comeback:
The Mt. High Blue Deacons have had a tough year trying to defend their
BDFL Championship. Well, now they can officially give up on that “pipe
dream,” like workers at the Tarrant City Clow Pipe Foundry in the 1970s.
(That’s C L O W, pronounced “Cloud” – and that’s both the pipe fitters
and the “A” rate electricians). The Heavy Duty Bishop Squad is dead last
in points in 2019 in the BDFL. However, they were still mathematically
alive for the playoffs until they lost to the Duncanville Armadillos,
15-11. And, you guessed it, the Deacons actually had the lead in this
game going into the last game of “unlucky” Week 13. It was a narrow,
precarious margin of 11-9, but the ‘Dillos got a running back TD on MNF
to come-from-behind to top the HDBS. The “Little ol’ team from Texas”
also maintains the top spot in the Rugged Red Neck Division and looks
like a lock for the Big Dance.
Four of Four: For Old Number 4, an Embarrassing Loss to the Bellcows,
Thanks to MNF:
Speaking of locks for the BDCS, the Mineral Springs Grenadiers are in
such a spot. The Commissioner’s contingent is first in the Grey Beard
Division and above the .500 mark on the season record ledger. That’s a
good thing, but the Gut Grenades have to deal with a bad thing in Week
13. You could say the Grenadiers were “unlucky” to lose to the lowly
Fieldstown BellCows this past week, but it happened. To close out the
long list of Monday Night Football comebacks this past week, the Bell
Heads rallied behind their placekicker to edge the Grenadiers in OT,
24-24. Bellrose has had a miserable inaugural season in the BDFL, but
this comeback vict’ry over Iron may reduce the pain somewhat.
Hand Bowl Goes to Bullets:
In the Hand Bowl in Week 13, the Benton Bullets got 9-points from the
GOAT on Sunday Night, to overpower the Black Creek Freebirds, 21-17. So,
it was decided before Monday Night Football, but it was still a good
comeback for the Bullets to top the Freebirds in a game of contenders
this year in the BDFL. The GOAT in this reference is Tom Brady, who
threw basically three “oh by the way,” TD passes in the Patriots loss to
the Texans. The Patriots – like the Crimson Tide – dropped to 10-2 on
the season, and now every one can talk about how the dynasty’s in New
England and Tuscaloosa are now over. The Bulletin won’t report
that, but every other Tom, Dick, and Harry publication will say
something to this effect, only to be proven wrong when the Big Picture
story is over for the gurus known as Belichick and Saban. As for the
Tide’s Iron Bowl situation, The Bulletin is blaming Dog, ‘cause
he was down there for the fiasco.
Dogs Win Again in BDFL Action:
The Brookside Dogs moved to an impressive 12-1
on the season by beating the Southside Cheetahs 19-17. If you think the
record is good, take a look at the Total Points category in the @$$
spread sheet. Mark’s Mutts have 445-points on the season. No other team
has 400. The Dogs are tops in record, total points, strength of
schedule, strength of record, signature wins and number of Coke bottles
washed. The only loss for Brookside came back in Week 4 when the
Armadillos upset them behind the fluke of two pick sixes, 13 penalties,
4 missed calls, and a clock malfunction. The Cheetahs made no excuses
for their loss and are looking forward to the Big Mullet Series (BMS).
The Dogs on the other hand are rolling to the BDCS and are a virtual
lock to be the Number One seed when the Big Dance has its opening
number.
Nauts Nip Sloths:
Only 14-points separates the Jugtown
Juggernauts and the Sloth Monsters after 13 weeks of BDFL action.
Ironically, the ‘Nauts are the ones that trail the Sloths in the total
points column on the latest @$$ Excel attachment, while the ‘Nauts
defeated the Three Toed Tree Dwellers, 29-16, this past week. And, the
strange comparisons don’t just end there, or maybe they do, but The
Bulletin sometimes looks too deep trying to calculate the length of
the “shadow of a doubt.” Put it this way, the Sloth Monsters have long
been eliminated from the Big Dance this season under the Bullet Rule,
but their point total is very competitive. On the other hand, the ‘Nauts
are down in points, but up in vict’ries and still have a legitimate shot
at making the playoffs not named the Big Mullet Series (BMS).
Blitz Beats Mayors:
The Druid City Blitz and the Magic City Mayors
had a little tussle in Week 13, and have landed at the bottom of The
Bulletin. This game in retrospect (and there’s no other way to look
back at a game) appears to be a microcosm of the year for both of these
teams, and it may end up serving as an accelerator for the final
post-season landing spot for Fritz and Arrington, respectively. The
Gritz Blitz beat the Cronies, 26-18, this past weekend. With the vict’ry,
DaBlitz moved to the all-important 7-6 mark and their point total is
pretty good at 348. The Mayors now have their backs firmly up against
the wall. The Royal Arrington’s slipped to 6-7 on the season with the
loss and are at 290 in total points and may top the next Pucker Factor
Poll that is certainly going to be up somewhere on the BDFL website in
the hours and days to come.
Week 13 in the Jr BDFL - “It’s all
about the kids.”
In the JrBDFL, one game of note stuck out above
the rest in Week 13. It was a family affair. The Benton Butterflies and
the Lowndes County Labs battled from Thanksgiving morning until the
clock struck :00 on Monday Night. This one was decided by some factors
that never come into play in the BDFL, but that are prevalent and
important in the Junior League thru the auspeces of ESPN, espn.com, and
iDisney. Negative points and fractions come into contention in this
cyber league and when everything was said and done in Week 13 in the
JrBDFL, the Butterflies had topped the Labs, something like 105.9 to
105.4, but that’s not official because they have installed a lot of
spyware and firewalls as parent protection on their websites.
ddle: Thanksgiving
moved to June