The 3rd Saturday in October is celebrated with vict'ry cigars for the 13th year in a row at UA
From underneath a rock in Media Void
Week 7:
Salute to Merle Haggard – Just because we can.
“I turned 21 in prison doing life without parole. No one could steer me
right, but mama tried, mama tried. Mama tried to raise me better, but
here pleadings I denied. That left only me to blame. ‘Cause mama tried.”
Cheetahs Tried, but Lost Again:
It has
been a “season to forget” thus far for Butch Neal and his Southside
Cheetahs. They keep trying, but they keep failing to get a vict’ry in
the 2019 version of the Big Daddy Football League. Old Neal probably
leads the league in grand-kids, but in wins, he still hasn’t found one
this year. And, the Cheetahs are not getting blown out in games, they
are just finding all kinds of ways to lose. Submitted for your approval,
in Week 7, the Sin Wagon rolled into Fairfield to take on the
PowerSleds. The Cheetahs put up a good fight, but they forgot to finish.
The Mean Machine finally got rolling in the 4th Quarter and slipped past
Butch & Company by four, 23-19. Butch kept waiting for hope on Monday
Night Football, but was once again left empty and winless.
“If you don’t love it… leave it.”
‘Dillos Dump BellCows to 07 Loser Street:
Gene
Stallings once said, “The fun is in the winning.” Well, David Belrose
isn’t having any fun this season. The expansion Fieldstown Bellcows are
aiming at the expansion record of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Circa 1976 –
who lost a 14 of their games in their first year of existence). In Week
7, the Bell Heads didn’t even come close to beating the resurgent
Duncanville Armadillos. The “Little ol' team from Texas” (and that’s not
a shot at K.P.’s height – or lack thereof) rolled into Fieldstown, and
defeated the first-year franchise with ease, 27-12. Then K.P. ventured
down to Hand Land to hang out with D.K. and Mary Ann and soak up some of
the flavor on the good side of Fieldstown, which is the area west of
Sugar Ridge Road, but kind of past Cornelius Drive too, if you are
scoring at home – and we know you are.
“I turned out to be the only hell my mama ever raised.”
Dogs put A.W. on Bullets:
In a
semi-mid-season showdown, the Brookside Dogs put an A.W. on the Benton
Bullets on the road in the Black Belt on Sunday. The Bullets thought
they had some ammo in their guns for Monday Night, but all they shot
were blanks and Mark’s Mutts ended up hammering the Boys from Benton,
39-14. The Brookside Dogs seriously look like serious contenders in 2019
to end their 24-year losing streak in the BDFL. The Dogs – it’s no
secret – are in the “Null Set Club,” and are the only original BDFL
franchise to never win the championship. However, they have some “bite”
this year, to go with their perennial “bark,” and are aiming to prove
everybody wrong. They are off to a great start this season and are
planning to “keep it going” for the rest of the year. “Brookside is
primed to explode.”
“…in
Muskogee, Oklahoma… U.S.A.”
Week 7 – A.W. Number Two – Blitz Bombs Gamblers:
In Druid
City, Alabama… U.S.A., the Fritz Gritz Blitz roared to life in Week 7.
Jolly Jerry has his Bombardiers were ready this past weekend for the
influx of Volunteers and Gamblers to the lovely banks of the Black
Warrior River. The Crimson Tide took care of the Vols on Saturday (for
the 13-straight time), and on Sunday the Druid City Blitz put an A.W. on
the Dixie Mafia that they will not soon forget. This one was never
close, as the Blitz played some great defense and scored at will against
the beleaguered Gamblers. The final score added up to an A.W., 45-24,
and gave Jerry Fritz the “high point” honors in Week 7, in Druid City,
Alabama, USA.
“We don’t get our kicks on LSD.”
A.W. Number Three in Week 7 – Sloths Slam Deacons:
On the
Third Sunday of October, the Sloth Monsters opened up a can on the Mt.
High Blue Deacons and then “ate the can.” Well, actually… the Three Toed
Tree Dwellers (a.) opened up a can of whoop @$$, (b.) dumped in all over
the rather bulb-us head of A.B., (c.) smashed the empty can on their
foreheads, (d.) then… Mukes ate portions of the can… the pop top and
other remnants of the can were properly deposited in recycling bins. The
final score read Sloths 37, Bishops 11. But, this one was over almost as
soon as it began. The Heavy Duty Bishop Squad was simply no match for
the “fired up and ready” Sloths in Week 7, who recorded the vict’ry and
notched the third A.W. of the weekend.
“When
you’re running down my country… you’re walking on the fighting side of
me.”
In Brother Battle… Freebirds get the upper “Hand:”
Giddy in
the midst of Cigar Smoke encircling the front porch at 16 Audubon late
on Saturday Night… the Hand Brothers decided to make a pact. The results
of said pact cannot be divulged to the general public, nor to the “Rank
'N File” of the BDFL. That’s just the way it is and the sooner The
Bulletin readers recognize
that the better off they’ll all be in the future. However, there was a
BDFL game that broke out soon after the Saturday Night celebrations and
cigar smoke subsided. The BDFL game was really no contest and kind of a
letdown both for the victors and the vanquished. The victors in this
case were the Black Creek Freebirds who defeated (the vanquished) the
Mineral Springs Grenadiers, 27-13. The rest of the details of the game
are considered “classified” under the “attorney-client privilege” deep
in the bowels of the BDFL bylaws, which were somewhat loosely based on
the “standards and procedures” of the Jednota (which obviously can’t be
downloaded, viewed, saved or made available to those without proper
clearance).
“Big city turn me loose and set me free. Hey, big city, turn me loose
and set me free.”
Dorians Taught a Lesson in the Big City by Mayors:
As some
kinda quasi-non-elected official in the squeaky-clean Jefferson County
bureaucracy, Barry K. Stephenson, gets to travel to the county seat of
Birmingham each and every day. The Mayor of the county seat of Jefferson
County wants to make it known, that inside the city limits of the Magic
City, the “county officials” (elected and appointed and/or merited in
under grandfather clauses) are quote-unquote “visitors.” They are not
tourists, they are visitors and they are treated as such. In Week 7 in
the BDFL, the Magic City Mayors made such an example out of the Altadena
Dorians. The “city” Cronies outscored the “county” Cronies, 33-24, in
one of the more competitive games of the weekend in the Fantasy Football
universe.
“… sing a little more of these working man’s blues.”
‘Nauts
Top ‘Cats 21-9:
Ladies and
gentlemen, the envelope please… and the winner of the “Toilet Seat Team
of the Weak” in Week 7 of the BDFL is the Western Hills Wildcats. The
“James Gang” were the only team to score in single digits this past
weekend and they have to wear the “badge of shame” of losing to the
Jugtown Juggernauts. There’s not a lot The
Bulletin can say about this
game (seriously). The Mildcats showed up at the Fairgrounds on Sunday
simply not ready to play. The ‘Nauts apparently got there late after
some kind of domestic dispute outside of “Mike’s” earlier in the day on
the Fultondale-Gardendale border. Reports are that the ‘Nauts Grand
Torino jumped a curb (and one of those median-like curbs, 6-feet across)
on its way into Mike’s, and the clutch in the vehicle was “slipping.”
Profanity was heard and reported by motorists and residents nearby and
even up the hill where Big Albert used to live. Actually, the cussing
was heard but never actually reported following a shout of “Good Night!”
Note:
If you
don’t know who Merle Haggard is (or was), we can’t help you.
Week 7 in the Jr BDFL -
“It’s all about the kids.”
In the JrBDFL,
mid-season is approaching and The Bulletin really has no idea what these kids are doing. So, when
in doubt… check the JrBDFL slogan: “It’s all about the kids.” They’re
having fun… “Birds gotta fly… Fish gotta fry.”