Bullets Earn Top Dog Honors by Shooting Down ‘Dillos:

All the Duncanville Armadillos did on Thursday Night NFL/BDFL Football was sit back in their cozy PSL (Personal Seat License) season tickets in Charlotte at the Carolina Panthers game and watch their kicker score more than their team. The sly kicker for Carolina put up 18-points, while the team only scored 14. (4-FGs, 2-over 50). So… K.P. and Company opened with an 18-0 lead in their Week Two match-up with the Benton Bullets. But, the Bullets never panicked. They stuck to their guns and “total team mentality.” The Boys from Benton battled back in the Black Belt, and ended up getting production up-and-down to line-up to score an amazing 50-points to defeat the ‘Dillos, 50-39. The “Little ol team from Texas,” can blame the dreaded schedule maker, because they would have defeated 14 of the 16 BDFL teams with their Week Two point total. With the vict’ry, the Bullets moved to 2-0 and have established themselves as the “hunted” early in the 2019 season.

Week Two: Two Pina Coladas (one for each hand – Garth Brooks):

Juggernauts Roll to 2-0 in A.W. of Blitz:

The Jugtown Juggernauts moved to 2-0 too, on the young season, with the second-highest point total in Week Two. The ‘Nauts blew out the Blitz in A.W.-style, 42-16. Even the new @$$-scoring system had this one down as an @$$-whipping. The Druid City Blitz is in early season trouble, but that’s really nothing new for Jerry Fritz and his motley band on not-ready-for-prime-time players. As for A.E. – fresh back from Columbia, S.C., and an Alabama A.W., and revenge for a 9-year-old wound – she and her Gardendale Girls appear to be poised for a playoff run this season in the BDFL.

Week Two: Two Hearts Beat as One (U2)

Dogs Ignite Brookside Rebirth with Vict’ry over BioCats:

The Brookside Dogs scored 36-points in Week One. In Week Two, Mark’s Mutts only managed 25-points, but that was just enough to earn a two-point vict’ry (25-23) over the Western Hills Wildcats on the banks of the Five Mile Creek. And, not since the watershed rebuilding of the Creek has the town of Brookside enjoyed such rebirth. The Dogs are 2-0 so far in 2019 and there is significant excitement all over town, including on Main Street just outside the closed doors of Wayne’s Place and the old Five and Dime store. Oh, no one expects the old stores to open, but like the Cleveland Browns – it’s just nice to win a game or two for the old town (and old Dodie Goode, Booger Bass, & Dwight Slowees).

Week Two: Two Doors Down (Dwight):

Freebirds Two-Step to a Narrow Win vs. Sloths:

Jaimie interrupted the classic duo of Mukes & Albert just long enough this past weekend to come away with a crucial, early-season vict’ry. The Black Creek Freebirds managed to put “scouting” above “partying” just long enough to defeat the Shades Creek Sloth Monsters by the final score of 19-15. It wasn’t easy for the team formerly-known-as the wooden warriors to dislodge the Three Toed Tree Dwellers from their trusty lower limb, but the Freebirds pulled off the feat and commenced to celebrate with a case of ponies. “Ponies,” said Jaimie, “because we didn’t want to drink too much.”

Week Two: Two Outta Three Ain’t Bad (Meatloaf):

Grenadiers Top Cheetahs 24-18 in Return to Green Springs:

There was no way the Sin Wagon was rolling into Mineral Springs in Week Two for obvious reasons. So, the Commissioner and Butch quickly got together and decided to play a “neutral site” game in Green Sprangs. How soon they forget (especially Butch), but the Grenadiers used to own Green Sprangs. Old Sharped Dressed carved out a good deal of his lasting reputation on the softball fields there, some of the once hole-in-the-wall establishments and the quick, easy sales for the once-media-magnet, Birmingham News. In the BDFL action, the TWO grand-dads slugged it out all day, posting pictures of their grandkids, and bragging on social media. When the proverbial, invisible cloud of cyber smoke cleared… the Grenadiers had a nice vict’ry over the Southside Cheetahs.

Week Two: Love me Two Times (The Doors):

PowerSleds Edge Mayors, 19-18:

In what turned out to be the closed game of the weekend, the Fairfield PowerSleds outlasted the Magic City Mayors in a “Magnificent Seven” match-up, by the final score of 19-18. These TWO original BDFL franchises battled it out in a West Side Story war of Jets & Sharks that started on Thursday Night crossed into Sunday and didn’t end until the curtain finally closed following Monday Night Football. Mad Jack was able to capture the 1-point win over the Cronies with trickery, deception, and tactical superiority. For A.A. and his Mayors, the defeat was a bitter pill to swallow, but he vowed to get back to his campaign promises, finish construction on the new state-of-the-art downtown stadium, get the Commodores to play at Boutwell Auditorium, and move on to Week Three.

Week Two: Two Hearts are Better than One (The Boss – The River):

Bellcows Fall to 0-2 with Loss to Gamblers:

The Fieldstown Bellcows barely made it out of the barn and into the dewy meadow for their second-ever game in the BDFL. They looked a little better in Week Two, but were still denied their first-ever franchise vict’ry, as the Gulf Coast Gamblers topped the Bell Heads by a touchdown, 17-10. The Dixie Mafia was just glad to get the win, after having one snatched from their greedy hands in Week One. As for Belrose, he’s just glad he didn’t get the Toilet Seat award for the second straight week.

Week Two: Two Princes (Spin Doctors):

Bishops Embarrassed by Dorians:

The “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak,” for Week Two, goes to the Mt. High Blue Deacons, who scored in single digits (8). Mr. Anthony’s Hayden District Bishop Squad (HDBS) was embarrassed in the second week of the BDFL season by the Altadena Dorians, 23-8. The Dorians poured it on, on Sunday afternoon, dealing the Blue Deacons their first loss of the season, while at the same time picking up Mr. Stephenson’s first win of the new season. Both teams will now venture onto Week Three with identical records of 1-1.

Week Two in the Jr BDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”