Diddly Squat

The Dogs bury da Blitz in Brookside

BROOKSIDE, AL - According to Mr. Webster, "diddly squat" is defined as a minimum amount, or degree; the least bit, usually used in the negative. In America, "diddly squat" is a slang term used to mean the least amount of something, or simply nothing at all. It's typically used in a negative way. For example, "You don't know diddly squat about sports", or "He loved his job even though it didn't pay diddly squat". Some synonyms for "diddly squat" include: blank, nada, naught, nothingness, void, zero, zip and zippo. The term was first used in 1934 during the Great Depression in the United States when most Americans had nothing. It's etymology is thought to be "doodley" which is an alteration of "do one's do" and "squat" was added later to complete the slang term. Rock 'n Roll singer Sheryl Crow used "diddly squat" in her 1986 classic tune "Soak Up The Sun" – "My friend, the communist holds meetings in his RV. I can't afford his gas, so I'm stuck here watching TV. I don't have digital, I don't have diddly squat. It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got." In Week 14 of the BDFL's 30th season, the Dogs buried da Blitz (48-16) along the banks of the Five Mile Creek and some teams inside and outside the league came up with "diddly squat". In BDFL divisional races as close as we can remember, those who may end up with "diddly squat" this year in the BDFL include the Mayors, Grenadiers, Gamblers, Armadillos, Blitz, Dogs, Juggernauts, Wildcats, Bandits, Freebirds and Sloth Monsters. Next week, the final week of the BDFL’s 2024 regular season (Week 15), will tell the tale and set the stage for the 2024 Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS) and the road to the 2024 BDFL Championship Title.

The Bullet Rule

The 27th year of the BDFL's Bullet Rule

TITLETOWN - As you may recall back in the early days, the BDFL was a "points only" league, but evolved in to a win-loss record/points combo league with not many rules and a little less direction than today's BDFL. So in 1997, when the Capital City Bullets finished the regular season in the top four in total points, they qualified for the league's "old school" post-season playoffs with a 6-9 record. Nobody thought too much about it at the time since this team wasn't very formidable during the regular season and didn't seem to be a threat to win one post-season game, much less the league's championship title. However, when the Bullets put together a miraculous two-game winning streak in the playoffs and won their first BDFL title with an 8-9 losing record, there was an outcry throughout the entire football world that had to be addressed. The Bullets' 1998 title became commonly known as the league's "tainted title" and is still footnoted as such in all league records. We don't try to change history in the BDFL, but we do learn from it. Therefore, Iron Hand, The Commissioner of the BDFL instituted the patented "Bullet Rule" to keep such a travesty from ever happening again. In 1998 when the rule went into effect, the BDFL's "Bullet Rule" clearly stated that no team could qualify for the league's championship series with a losing record. The "Bullet Rule" served the league well for 25 years, but the rigid rule created a couple of post-season hardships over the years since the BDFL went to an eight-team post-season with the Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS) in 2006 and the NFL went to an 17-game regular season in 2021. In 2022 for instance, the league only produced six eligible teams for the BDFL. Iron Hand has to think fast and added two teams to the BDCS mix, one with a new "Amnesty 2022" provision to override the long-standing "Bullet Rule" and added a replacement team (North River Neanderthals) just to give the league's elite BDCS post-season bracket some credibility. Enough is enough. So in 2023 at the BDFL's off-season meetings with the Board of Regents in Destin, Florida, the BDFL amended the league's long-standing "Bullet Rule" with a slight amendment. To keep the league's integrity intact and to help insure eight teams make the BDCS and to assure there will never be another "tainted title", the league's amended "Bullet Rule" will allow teams with 7-8 regular season records to be eligible for the league's championship playoffs. This amendment decision was made for the betterment of the league overall and it will still assure that no team will ever win another "tainted" BDFL Championship Title with a losing record. If there is not enough clubs eligible for the post-season BDCS with the revised "Bullet Rule", the league will open the door to another "amnesty" type provision to assure that eight real BDFL teams make up the BDCS. This is now commonly referred to in the BDFL as the new "Kawliga Rule" based on heavy-duty whinning of the past decade.