Tom Petty famously wrote and sang, “The waiting is the hardest part.”

The real Bocephus supposedly said, “Old habits are hard to break.”

So, with Week 13 in the BDFL (and the NFL) not completely over, The Bulletin is quoting the above as precedent to press on, and go to press, even with one game in the NFL (Cowboys vs. Ravens) still in the incomplete category. Extensive research by The Bulletin staff promulgates that the results of the Tuesday Night NFL game should not have a significant impact on the Week 13 results in the Big Daddy Football League. The lone exception is the Wildcats vs. Gamblers game, which most probably be effected by Ravens PK – Justin Tucker (who is money in the bank), if he scores 5 or more, the Wildcats will earn a vict’ry over the Dixie Mafia. So, that game re-cap will close out this week’s version of The Bulletin (literally, see below).

“Bullet Rule” Bashes Holiday Hopes:

Unless you were around 26-years ago, it’s hard to imagine the “Bullet Rule.” It was put in retroactively, punitively, spitefully, and vengefully - with malice and jealousy and vindictiveness - to enact punishment to the Capital City Bullets (1997 Champions) for all-time. The first two BDFL Championships were won by the Fairfield PowerSleds as the team with the most total points. There were no playoffs in the BDFL in those days and teams played weekly games (like today) to have weekly competition and pick up $2 per win. Then, in year three of the Big Daddy Football League, the Bullets won the championship by scoring more points than any other team. Cruising down the stretch, the Bullets lost a few meaningless games and closed with a record of 8-9. Jealousy ensued in The Commissioner’s Office and among the rank & file (including those no longer around – See Wizards). So, an arbitrary rule was enacted to require a winning record to win the title. The powers-that-be and some of the propaganda (see Wizards, again) also attempted to call Bullet’s championship a “tainted title.” However, like the asterisk (*) that accompanied Roger Maris’ Home Run Record, it never took, and Bullet’s legitimate title held for all-time sake, and it was the new rule - the “Bullet Rule” that took on a life of its own. And, since its inception, the “Bullet Rule” has ruined many a good season, knocking teams out of even competing in the Big Daddy Championship Series. And, in 2020, the “Bullet Rule” has really reared its ugly head, as you’ll see in this week’s edition of The Bulletin.

“Bullet Rule” Dooms Freebirds in 2020:

The Fabulous Fultondale Freebirds were pretty good in 2020. Jammin’ Jaimie Hand’s team scored a decent amount of points this season, however, they could not win games. The F’birds faced heartbreak on almost a weekly basis, losing games by the closest of margins, and Week 13 in the BDFL was another such occurrence. The Freebirds put up a respectable 24-points but lost to the Mineral Springs Grenadiers by one point, 25-24. The loss drops Hime’s team to 5-8 on the season and under the “Bullet Rule,” to automatic elimination from the BDCS. Meanwhile, The Commissioner improves to 9-4 on the season, and firmly “in the mix” as one of the contenders for the title in 2020.

“Blue Christmas” in Store for the Mayors:

The Magic City Mayors still had an outside shot at the Big Dance before a Week 13 loss dropped them out under the “Bullet Rule.” The Cronies were out-smarted and out-flanked this past weekend by the Druid City Blitz. Jerry Fritz maximized his 16-points and earned a win by the narrowest of margins, 16-15, against the Mayors, who took the loss hard by downloading and playing Elvis’ “Blue Christmas” over, and over, and over. In reality, A.A.’s squad didn’t really have a chance at the BDCS unless a lot of other teams fell victim to the “Bullet Rule.” But, that actually looks like it may be happening… with four teams in the BDFL “biting the bullet” in Week 13.

“Bullet Rule” Bites Dogs:

That’s right, the Brookside Dogs have also become victims of the “Bullet Rule.” There will be no repeat championship for Mark’s Mutts. The Dogs spent way too much time basking in their 2019 championship and neglected the current season. Mr. Mark Burr says he would do it all again and stressed the importance of celebrating “Everything that is Brookside.” The Dogs were blown away in Week 13 by the suddenly relentless Fieldstown Bellcows, 46-23, in a game that will all but certainly stand up as an A.W., unless the Mutts get some “oh-by-the-way” points from a running back on Tuesday Night Football.

Bellcows! Wow:

The Bulletin just wanted to give a headline, and a shout out to the Bellcows, who earned the “high point” total of Week 13, with 46, in their vict’ry over the Dogs.

“Bullet Rule” and Nauts Blast Bullets:

The Benton Bullets had an up-and-down agonizing season in 2020, and were finally put out of their misery this past weekend by the lowly Jugtown Juggernauts. Allyson’s team has been awful all year, with the worst record and lowest point total. But, the ‘Nauts rose up in Week 13 and hammered the Bullets in a come-from-behind win. The Bullets notched 22-points over the weekend, only to see the “Bra Burners” go crazy in a Monday day-night double-header, and bury the old Bullerino. The loss drops Bullet to 5-8 and OUT of contention for the BDCS under… drum roll please… the “Bullet Rule.” Only once before all season had the ‘Nauts scored in the 30’s, which they did to end Bullet’s dreams of making the Big Dance.

Sleds Slip Past Deacons:

With all of the “Bullet Rule” debacles out of the way, The Bulletin can turn to some regular games as the regular season draws to a close. In a match-up of teams going in opposite directions, the Fairfield PowerSleds threw their cleats out on the field and defeated the Mt. High Blue Deacons, 20-18. The Mean Machine is a real challenger for the 2020 BDFL Championship and the Hayden District Bishop Squad (HDBS) had already been eliminated earlier in the season under the “Bullet Rule.” So, so much for getting away from references to the rule that changed the landscape of the BDFL.

Dorians Edge ‘Dillos, 16-14:

In another two-point game, the Altadena Dorians edged the Duncanville Armadillos by the final score of 16-14. This one underwhelmed most of those in attendance in the sleepy, East Texas, Dallas Metro Suburb, and also left those cheering the home team vowing to only go see the High School Powerhouse Panthers in the future. The win was huge for the Dorians, who continue to lead the Green Horn Division, but have also guaranteed themselves a non-losing season, and an almost certain trip to the BDCS.

Sloths Hang On vs. Sin Wagon:

The Sloths took out some frustration in Week 13, with a satisfactory vict’ry over the Southside Cheetahs, 22-19, in another close game in the BDFL. Mukes’ team had previously been eliminated from the Big Dance, and just wanted to save some pride and dignity down the stretch. Consider those boxes marked off for the Three Toed Tree Dwellers, who crawled out to an early lead and were able to hold on for dear life – without plausible thumbs – to get the sweet vict’ry over one of the lead contenders for the Grand Daddy Trophy at the close of this season.

Gamblers 19 – Wildcats 15; But Outcome Subject to Change:

Jumping the gun, The Bulletin runs the risk of missing on the outcome of a game or two in the award-winning publication. However, even though the Western Hills Wildcats enter the NFL’s Tuesday Night Game, trailing the Gulf Coast Gamblers by four (15-19), The Bulletin is calling a win for the Wildcats. The placekicker for the “James Gang” is Justin Tucker (Ravens). The Bulletin believes (in a prediction of sorts), that Tucker will score at least 5-points in the day-after-MNF-game… and deliver a vict’ry for the BioCats. As for the “Dixie Mafia” they are certainly not giving up, but they are not rushing to the “mutual windows” to place a wager on their own team in the face of this grim reality. The Gamblers – even with a loss – look to be a good bet for the Big Dance, while a win for the Wildcats would put the division leaders over possible elimination under the auspices of the “Bullet Rule.”

Meanwhile, in the Junior League: