The Bulletin reminds us that the very best football is played for the love of the game
From underneath a rock in Media Void
Week 3: The Bulletin - More Thunderstruck
Dorians
Bite Dogs – Administer A.W. with Malice
The Brookside Dogs are not asking for forgiveness and
they’re not apologizing for continuing their basking from their 2019
championship into a new season. It was a long time in coming – the Dogs
1st BDFL Championship – and they plan to continue celebrating right up
until the point where someone pries the Grand Daddy Trophy out of their
cold, dead, hands. That being said (again), the Dogs were taken to the
woodshed in Week 3 by the Altadena Dorians. This one got ugly, and got
ugly early, as Old Barry whipped out an A.W. against Mark’s Mutts,
destroying the Dogs by the final score of 51-4. The Dogs finished the
week as the only team in the BDFL in single-digits, thus earning the
defeat, and picking up the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award.
Another A.W. – Freebirds Jank on Juggernauts
The other A.W. in Week 3 of the BDFL season, saw the
Fabulous Freebirds dominate the Jugtown Juggernauts by 32 points. The
final score was 43-11. This one was never close. Old Kawliga & Company
jumped out to a big lead and then poured on more points and then tried
to call off the dogs and kept scoring points until they had reached far
past the point of an official A.W. For A.E., it was an embarrassing A.W.,
as the ‘Nauts are now one of only two teams to still be winless in 2020.
The Juggernauts share the cellar with the Blue Deacons at 0-3.
Deacons Go Down Again – Lose by Five to Wildcats
Anthony Bishop’s Mt. High Blue Deacons have fallen and
they can’t get up. But, at least in the third week of the season they
avoided their third straight "Toilet Seat" award. In fact, the Heavy
Duty Bishop Squad (HDBS) actually came close to getting a win. The
Western Hills Wildcats picked up the vict’ry by outscoring (how else
would they do it) the Bishops, 29-24. The James Gang avoided an 0-3
start with their first vict’ry of the season, while the Blue Deacons
will wander back to Southwest Blount County to regroup. “We
covered,” said Bishop. “We
were five-and-a-half point underdogs and we only lost by five.”
Blitz Remain Undefeated – Slip Past Sloths in Sloppy Game
The Druid City Blitz are now 3-0 and serving notice that
they are a top contender in 2020 in the BDFL. “If
the Dogs can do it, anyone can,” read a fan sign – with Snoopy as
the Red Baron - at the end of the game in T-Town. This game between the
Blitz and the Sloth Monsters was not pretty. At the end, the field was
strewn with broken watermelons, shattered light bulbs, and crushed
Miller Lite cans (and a few Pony bottles), but the scoreboard had the
Gritz Blitz on top 31-27, and off to one of Jerry Fritz’s best-ever
starts in a BDFL football season.
Cheetahs Welcome New Family Member – Hammer ‘Dillos in the Process
There’s a new Neal in the world, Harris Vann Neal, and
there’s yet another reason to celebrate for the Southside Cheetahs.
After a long tailgating session apparently atop a parking deck across
from a hospital, the Cheetahs welcomed a new cat to the family. “It’s
all about the kids,” said Butch. After that, the Sin Wagon rolled
to a big win over the Duncanville Armadillos, 42-27, to advance to 3-0
on the season. So, after a trio of games in the BDFL, only a pair of
teams are undefeated in the BDFL. As for the ‘Dillos, they are still
searching for a respectable line-up to run out there as their starters,
and still looking to regroup for the rest of the season.
Gamblers Get Win – Outduel the Mayors
In Week Three of the season, the Gulf Coast Gamblers
outdueled the Magic City Mayors in a much-anticipated game at Legion
Field in Birmingham. Kenny G. & his crew picked up the vict’ry over the
Cronies with a fabulous second half, notching a 34-23 win. The Gamblers
lined up and challenged the Mayors and defeated them in all phases of
the game. The Gamblers won at roulette (at the line of scrimmage on
defense), they prevailed in Blackjack (on offense), and in Texas Hold-em
No Limit Poker (special teams), and K.G.’s team was even better at
Indian Poker (coaching).
Thunderstruck – Sleds Strike Down Bellcows
This one was one point short of an A.W., as the Fairfield
PowerSleds stormed outta the gate to Thunderstuck and struck early and
often against the Fieldstown Bellcows. When the smoke finally cleared
and it took it a long time to clear… the Mean Machine had a 54-34
vict’ry over Belrose and Elsberry and Hurst and Hazelrig. The
ear-splitting noise was music to the bleeding ears of the Sled-Heads who
celebrated the win over the Bell-Heads with an all-day rock fest at
Sloss Furnace.
Commish Falls to Bullets – But Apparently Gets Up
The Mineral Springs Grenadiers stormed off to a 24-to-nothing lead over
the Benton Bullets and then held on for dear life as the Bullets came
firing back. The Bullets scored 24-points, seemingly pulling into a
24-24 tie with The Commissioner (Iron Hand) with the game going under
further review, and Mizlou, isolight, slow-motion replay. The
Commissioner’s Office and the scoring system, and the excel spreadsheet,
and the official BDFL email made the Bullets the winner in overtime.
However, something seemed amiss. “I
cannot in good conscience accept this trilling, hard-fought, overtime
vict’ry,” said Bullet. “I
mean, I could, but I have too much integrity. I would like to notify The
Commissioner and @$$ that there appears to be an error in scoring this
week. Carson Wentz (Eagles / Grenadiers) actually scored 9 instead of 6…
so Mineral Springs should have a 27-24 win over Benton. I know it could
cost me in the end of the season under the Bullet Rule. But, right is
right… so Commish please double-check and amend the score, if you find
the same results that I discovered.”
Meanwhile in the JrBDFL…
The Hand Boys of Benton continued their fast start in the 2020 season in
the Junior League. The Selma King Henry Southpaws (Matthew) and the
Lowndes County Labs (Milton) won their games in cyberspace this past
weekend in NFL action to each move to 3-0 on the season. In the JrDBFL,
through the auspices of ESPN dot com, there are two divisions: Matthew
is in first place in the West and Milton is atop the standings in the
East – or vice versa. In the real world, the Morgan Academy Senators
lost their first game of the season on Friday night to fall to 4-1 on
the season.