Freebirds Roll Over Sleds, 35-18:

FYI: If you Google this exact phrase, “Eight, skate, donate and apologize,” you get only two results on the Page 1 of the search engine. Both clearly say, The Bulletin – The Big Daddy. Draw your own conclusions, but the phrase thought to be a common poker reference, appears instead to be yet another original saying of Papa (D.K. Hand). Possibly confounded from another saying or terminology that he heard and repeated in not in the exact same way, kinda like “lamp light,” (instead of limelight) and “cocasions” (for Caucasians), and “racialism.” At any rate, that phrase appears in past issues of The Bulletin on the BDFL website – and apparently nowhere else – frozen in the archives of the invisible Internet and the search engine crawl spits it out for better or worse. The references were undoubtedly used in past Week 8 editions and once again the Bulletin goes to that well. The youngest son of D.K. (aka Handy Man, Coach Hand, Papa, Mr. Hand) – Jammin’ Jaimie Hand of WVUA fame – picked up a vict’ry in Week 8 of the 2020 season against the Fairfield PowerSleds, 35-18. From all eye witnesses, it was a close contest most of the way, before the Freebirds “played some old honk,” and pulled away for the win. NOTE: some dude – in cyberspace – wrote a book called “Eight, skate, and donate.” In addition, without the ”apologize,” the phrase in poker means a no-limit hand, with an $8 bet to begin, or with a Joker in the deck… a 4-card-straight… with a hole that can be filled with a wildcard (joker) or an 8 of clubs, diamonds, hearts, or spades.

Gamblers Know the Deal, Win 27-21 in Week 8:

In gambling vernacular along the Mississippi Gulf Coast, the term “eight, skate, and donate,” refers to any time an “eight” comes face up, especially with a dealer that likes to talk or announce something involving the cards. The cards in Week 8 fell in favor of the Gulf Coast Gamblers this weekend, as they defeated the Jugtown Juggernauts, 27-21. This game really wasn’t close until A.E.’s ‘bra burners’ got some late, ‘oh-by-the-way,’ points to make it a little closer than the final score indicated. Back to the “Eight, Skate, and Donate,” book: it’s about the fear of going back to prison for a crime that the protagonist did not commit motivated him enough to avoid capture. This fast paced, sad and sometimes comical story of the main character’s escapades in and around New Orleans will grab you by the heart and hold you until the last page (or so says the hyped up preview).

No A.W.’s in Week 8, but One One-point Thriller:

Week 8 in the BDFL produced a grand total of zero A.W.’s and was marked by a boatload of close games. The closest one of the weekend was a battle between the Altadena Dorians and the Southside Cheetahs. It was a match-up of old-time, neighborhood rivals, from the east Gardendale area, just across U.S. Highway 31, off Tarrant Road, along Kregg Drive. It was NOT the long-time famous feud between the upper echelon families of Scroggins and Leopards, but the blue-collar, hard-nose, confrontation between the Neal’s and the Stephenson’s. So, neighbors from Kyle Court and Peterson Drive came out on Sunday afternoon to watch the Dorians and Cheetahs battle it out. When the smoke cleared, it was the Stephenson’s with the upper hand over the Neal’s with the final score reading, Dorians 24, Cheetahs 23.

Mark’s Mutts Win by Two by Mauling Mayors:

The defending BDFL Champions got back in the win column by slipping past the Magic City Mayors by two, 20-18. This game was ugly and relatively low-scoring, with the Brookside Dogs making just one or two more plays than the Cronies in four quarters and Mark’s Mutts escaped with a narrow vict’ry. Unrelated to the BDFL contest, the entire Hand Clan (Babo, Papa, Chris, Jerome, & Jaimie) along with a large contingent of Slovensky’s (but NOT Jack Slovensky or Adam) paid a visit to Brookside on Sunday for the annual cemetery service atop the hill. The town is still aglow in last year’s championship celebration (basking) from it’s beloved Dogs, from the site of the old, burned down elementary school, to the crooked bridge that isn’t crooked anymore, past the ballfield where the fence is now INSIDE the light poles to the Baptist Church that has been taken over by the Russian Orthodox Church. Goose Alley has been cleaned up and doesn’t even hardly exist anymore, and practically no houses stand between there and the Five Mile Creek, which is now in pristine shape and a tourist attraction (I kid you not). In addition, the one-lane bridge is now a monument to the past, next to the bridge that allows two-way traffic. So… long-story-short… Too Late… Brookside has changed, but in many ways… remains the same… except with a BDFL Championship Banner.

Bullets Beat Blue Deacons 20-13:

The Benton Bullets scored a much-needed win in Week 8 by topping the Mt. High Blue Deacons by a touchdown, 20-13. In fact, a match-up with the woeful Heavy Duty Bishop Squad (HDBS) was exactly what the doctor ordered for the Bullets, who desperately needed a vict’ry. The win improves the Bullets to 3-5 on the season and drops the Bishop’s to 2-6 and first up on the Pucker Factor list along with the ‘Nauts. After the game, the old Bullerino gave a JrBDFL member (Matthew) a driving tour of Brookside (which obviously has the spotlight this week along with the 8, skate, and donate narrative). Bullet showed the hill that Jonathan Carroll skated down with long-hair flowing, the point where the Hand Boys were egged on Halloween, the old site of Wayne’s Place on Main Street, the Burr House adjacent to the ballpark, right along the railroad tracks, and right down the hill from the burned school and near the VFW, and the basement and attic, “name it and claim it.”

Grenadiers Bomb Blitz 29-16:

The Mineral Springs Grenadiers “named and claimed” an easy vict’ry over the Druid City Blitz on Sunday, 29-16. Fritz’s Gritz Blitz started strong in 2020, but have now lost two in a row to drop to 6-2. That record, however… is still the best record in the BDFL. The Commissioner was also in Brookside on Sunday afternoon (for the same aforementioned reasons). All the former “Sharped Dressed Man” was interested in was some old framed photos of his GQ days at GHS and Parisians. Luckily, the Commissioner did not leave empty-handed, making a pretty big haul from his grandmother’s house, and improving to 5-3 on the season.

Bellcows Graze to Big Win Against Wildcats, 31-14:

The Fieldstown Bellcows stayed away from Brookside on Sunday, past the “buffer zone” of Dog Town, Republic, Mineral Springs, and El Dorado, back home in Fieldstown, where they captured a relatively easy vict’ry over the Western Hills Wildcats. The Bell Heads won 31-14 in a 17-point decision, that was the most lopsided game in Week 8 in the BDFL. The win pushes Belrose to 4-4 on the season, and drops the “James Gang” to 3-5 on the season and to a potential position on the first pucker poll of the 2020 campaign.

Prewitt Beats Mukes, 33-20:

In a match-up of old roommates (which encompasses about half the BDFL), or folks that replaced other roommates in college (which lists a good number of league owners), Kurt Prewitt defeated Mike Dismukes by the final score of 33-20. This game turned out to be exactly as close as the final score indicated as the the Duncanville Armadillos topped the Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters by 13-points. Now, let’s see if the Bulletin can recapture the roommate carousel: Jack & Jerry James were faithful and stayed roomies; Dog & Chris were at Stadium Apartments and Bates Manor until Bullet replaced Chris, and Barry moved in Tommy Todd’s spot; Jaimie then moved in; Mukes replaced Bullet; and K.P. moved in at some point; Allyson lived two doors down, which almost counts, and Belrose became a constant tailgating presence.

In the Junior League: