The Bulletin Hits the Streets, News Stands, and Kiosks… Ready or Not:

The Bulletin – a staple of the BDFL, “The Banner” (like the NFL talks about “The Shield”) since the inception of the Big Daddy Football League for 26 seasons has been published weekly. The Bulletin is subject to the whims of the NFL and Fantasy Football in general, but strives to provide up-to-date and pertinent information of all of its loyal readers and rest of you sonsabitches. The Bulletin both digs deep for stories with extensive research and also provides flippant superficial items, articles, and quotes to capture the demographic interested in that sort of stuff. This week – Week 12 – in the NFL and BDFL has had a game postponed at least three times and moved from Thanksgiving Night to Sunday, to Monday, Tuesday, and now Wednesday. The Ravens-Steelers game could effect the BDFL scores this week, but, the editorial staff at The Bulletin has decided to proceed on schedule and deal with the potential ramifications of the Wednesday, Dec. 2 game.

Cheetahs Roar to High Scoring A.W. over Freebirds:

The Southside Cheetahs have reportedly had some run-ins with old, Mr. Corona. The Cheetah-man, Butch Neal, was not present at the Iron Bowl, to witness in person the Alabama 42-13 beatdown vs. their cross-state rivals. However, The Bulletin – apparently nudged by privacy laws – has been unable to confirm or deny the exact health of the Sin Wagon’s lead dog, or cat. Be that as it may, the Cheetahs did show up in Week 12 in the BDFL to dominate the Fultondale Freebirds, 51-30, to record an A.W. So, with that evidence, it appears Butch is fine, but you never know. As for Jammin’ Jaimie Hand, he can again wail and gnash his teeth over a loss when his F’Birds put up 30, and he would have defeated “all but one” of the other BDFL teams. Instead… Hime gets an A.W. and a big “L.”

Blue Deacons Play for Pride – Top Mayors by Ten:

One of the teams already eliminated from the Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS) is the Mt. High Blue Deacons. The Hayden District Bishop Squad (HDBS) is a victim of the “Bullet Rule,” and their own ineptitude in 2020. However, even after being relegated to a holiday visit to the Mullet Series, the Deacons did not play dead in Week 12. Bishop’s team played with pride and pulled off the upset against the Magic City Mayors, 26-23. The Cronies were shocked by the loss and were not available for comment, except to reference a couple of bodybuilders, or bouncers, or male dancers in an email.

Bellcows Trounce Nauts:

The other team previously eliminated from the Big Dance is the Jugtown Juggernauts. Unlike the Bishops, the Nauts did not demonstrate any pride this past weekend in the BDFL. Allyson’s All Girl Band hit the wrong notes and were embarrassed by the Fieldstown Bellcows by the final score of 34-13. For the Bel-Heads, they were greatly influenced and fired up by a pre-game, tailgating visit with two of the three Hand Brothers, prior to the Iron Bowl, where he was not even required to hold an umbrella. The Bellcows could make some noise in the post-season. You would know it because it would sound a lot like a cow bell clanging.

Gamblers Dominate Sloths with A.W.:

Pending anything super weird in the Wednesday game, the Gulf Coast Gamblers will be “high point man” in the BDFL in Week 12. Kenny B. & Company put up 56-points in a complete and total A.W. over the Sloth Monsters. And, even though Mukes has a WR still scheduled to play (WR-Brown/BAL scored 6 points to make the final 56-32)… there is very little chance that the Three Toed Tree Dwellers will (1) score enough to win, (2) score enough to avoid an A.W., and (3) be able to avoid dropping to 4-8 on the season and being absolutely eliminated from the BDCS. The Gamblers on the other “poker hand” have put themselves in excellent position to advance to the Big Dance with an “all in” win that (1) improves their win total, (2) increases their total points standing, and (3) lessens their position in the Pucker Factor Poll.

Grenadiers Close to Defeating Dorians:

The Altadena Dorians still have a chance to pick up a vict’ry in this extended Week 12 in the BDFL, but their chances are being categorized as “slim and none.” Old Barry would need the Baltimore defense to score 12 in Week 12 to get the win in a game that the oddsmakers had as a “pick ‘em” way back before the opening of the “longest week in NFL hist’ry.” As it stands, and probably will stand… the Mineral Springs Grenadiers lead by 11-points, 26-15. Both teams will keep a close eye on the Wednesday game, but it’s probably unlikely that the Dorians can erase this deficit. Barry’s best chance is to have Marlon “son of Bobby T.” Humphrey get a Pick-Six or ‘scoop and score’ from more than 50-yards. Both teams appear to be in good shape for the post-season irregardless of the outcome.

Bullets Ahead for Now vs. BioCats:

In dire straits for the post-season are the Benton Bullets. And, the extended week has pushed the Bullets to the brink. At 4-7, the Ol’ Bullerino cannot afford another loss. Another “L” would send the Benton team to the Mullet Series, under the “Bullet Rule.” This past, never-ending NFL week, was a good one for the Bullets, as they blasted 25-points into the target. Their opponent this extended week, the Western Hills Wildcats, battled back with some Sunday Night points, but the “James Gang” trails by 12 in Week 12. The only player left for the BioCats is the Baltimore kicker, who has at least a fighting chance at 12-points in the previously mentioned Wednesday Game. So, for now… the Pucker Factor for the Bullets takes on even more meaning as Bullet is literally perched on the edge of tomorrow. Bullets hung on to win this one 25-15 to remain in the hunt for the 2020 BDCS.

Sleds and Dogs Slug it Out:

In one of the snoozers of the week, the PowerSleds hold a paltry 14-9 lead over the Dogs heading into Wednesday. Mark’s Mutts have a running back going in the game (if he doesn’t have the Covid), and a rushing, 6-point TD, would push the Brookside Dogs to vict’ry. So both teams will probably knock off early from work to catch the Raven-Steelers game. This is one that could go either way. The hay is “in the barn” for Jack Barnes, with nobody else playing, and one thing is certain: Jack’s team will not cover the spread. The Sleds were favored by 5.5, and only hold a 5-point lead. The loser of this game is the top favorite to carry home the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award.

Blitz Bewildered - Dillos in a Dilemma with BDFL/NFL Situation:

The BDFL game with the most at stake in the NFL Wednesday Game (**) is the Druid City Blitz vs. the Duncanville Armadillos. At press time, the ‘Dillos held a precarious 3-point lead over the Gritz Blitz with the score on the email, website, and excel spreadsheet scoreboard reading 25-22. Jerry Fritz has two players on the Ravens, but whether they’ll see action or see the end zone is anyone’s question. It looks as though QB Lamar “the Star” Jackson will not play, but with the game moving back, back, back is that RB-Mark Ingram may play for the Ravens/Blitz. So as the week extends the drama builds… because THIS IS… THE B.D.F.L. The Armadillos did hold off Da Blitz to win this one 25-22.

Meanwhile, in the Junior League:

In the JrBDFL, it’s practically impossible to keep up with all of the scenarios with the one game still left to be played. So, if you are interested, please check their standings and scores on espn.com, if you can borrow a password to get into their very, safe and secure site.