The Bulletin

THE OFFICIAL INTERNET SITE OF THE BIG DADDY FOOTBALL LEAGUE

TheBDFL.net THE BULLETIN Week 14

Inside

The BDFL

The Big Daddy

The Bulletin

Wizardz Winnerz

Iron Hand

Weekly Rewards

The Starters

TBD Last Week

2003 Schedule

Team Rosters

League Directory

BDFL Bonnets

NFL Schedule

TheBDFL@juno.com

Back

Bulletins

Week 1	Week 5
Week 2	Week 6
Week 3	Week 7
Week 4	Week 8
Week 9	Week 10
Week 11	Week 12
Week 13	Week 14

Bullet's

Quote of

Week

“I’m now in first place in both of my fantasy leagues.” One apparently is only in his head.

From Underneath The Rock in Media Void

By Bullet Head

Week 14 in the BDFL...

Wizards Whack Blades

(Greystone)—“Merlin ought to just get down on his knees and thank Kawliga for drafting him such a quality team.” That was the observation made by one member of the media following the Wizards whacking of the Shelby County Sod Farmers on Sunday. (Kawliga has successfully drafted the top two teams in the Green Horn Division.) “Your @$$ is grass and I’m a Briggs & Stratton, self-propelled, 3.8 horsepower mowing machine,” said Merlin after completely embarrassing the Blades in front of a packed house of Cardigans, khakis and bow ties at the Tea & Crumpet Coliseum inside the pearly-gates of Greystone this weekend. (And, the bow ties were the “geeky” kind, not the international symbol of excellence that is the Chevy logo.) At any rate, it now looks as though Merlin might actually challenge the Woodies for the Green Horn Division championship, (not!) however both teams are the product of one person’s football knowledge and it’s not the one who did his apprenticeship in Lee County.

Woodies Roll Toward Big Daddy Bowl II

(Black Creek)—“It’s not that he drafted that much of a better team than he drafted for the Wizards, it’s that he is doing a better job handling his team than Merlin is. He drafted equal teams. He just knows more about football than the not-so-great Wizard.” Those were the comments of a BDFL insider this week, following another brilliant performance by the Wooden Warriors. Kawliga’s Tribe has been on the warpath all season and shows no signs of urinating on the fire and calling in the dogs until the hunt is over. Sunday, the Woodies scalped the Sloths on the reservation and then made Mukes buy the adult beverages and parade around in women’s clothes. Correction: Hime “only” made the Three-Toed Tree Dwellers purchase the beer, they dressed in women’s clothes “on their own.”

Bullets Win Again

(Gardendale)—A standing room only crowd gathered at Rocket Stadium to “officially” witness the retiring of the metal and wood, maroon and white bench on the home side of Ed Bruce Field as a tribute to the man who made that bench famous. Bullet even put his buns prints in concrete under a plaque to mark the occasion and the bench was forever encased in glass. Following the ceremony, the “fired-up” Bullets pulled a “ready, aim, fire” routine on the ‘Nauts and blasted their way to a two-point vict’ry over a bunch of girls, which is probably the only group that the Bullets could beat right now. “A win is a win is a win!” exclaimed Bullerino. “We were pumped up after all the pre-game stuff, the tribute and all, and just decided to go out there and annihilate them. We showed ‘em how to play a little smash-mouth football. I have to credit my offensive line of Mike White, Roger Shultz, Williard Scissum, Hardy Walker and Bill Jordan for really blowing those girls off the line of scrimmage.”

Bullet’s other post-game comments:

On the retiring of the home bench at Rocket Stadium: “You know the first time I really got hit and I mean smoked good, Round Man sent me over to sit on that bench. I fell off. But, that was my sophomore year. As I got more experience, I learned how not only to stay on the bench, but to really perfect the art. I used to hate to go on road games because they just didn’t have the same kind of accommodations. But, you know it is really an honor to have this, and to join the other prestigious awards. You know Hotdog had the fence, Ledlow the toilet, Roy the locker, Guffin the downhill ramp, Chris the golden tooth, Win and Crandall the wet track, Orazine and Mann the back of the bus, and Tommy Kinney the Champ to Chump. So, It’s an honor. Thank you very little.”

No Aid For the Cheetahs

(Green Springs)—The places in Atlanta have their rules and Sammy’s has the famous “touch and go” policy, but when old Iron has the home field/club/bar advantage, “watch out.” The Banana Eaters hit the weight room for six-straight days leading up to their showdown with the showgirls, and it paid off. The Johnny’s “scored” at opportune times and kept the Cheetahs “off balance” all night with bar hopping around Southside before going for the kill at the Upside Down Plaza. When Pistol got to the pool tables with a reserve PBR in his starched-white business shirt pocket, it was all over but the shouting. The Sin Wagon now appears to be rolling down hill and may end up blowing, pardon the pun, what was once thought of as an “insurmountable” lead in the Gray Beard Division. “It’s no longer rolling, baby,” said a beleaguered Mike Price.

Bootleggers March Toward Top

(No Teeth, Tenn.)—The “old” Mad Jack finally reared his ugly head (DuBose size, but not as big as Big John’s) this weekend. That’s right, he protested. It seems Mad wanted nothing to do with venturing up into the great suction, which is Tennessee. Strangely enough, Mr. Wood also wanted out of No Teeth for a time and agreed to play the game in Fort Payne. That turned out to be the “pretty, pretty pain cave,” for the Sleds as the Bootleggers landed numbers shots of their size 12½, Mac Sanderson, Tom McCann, patented leather, pointed toe, genuine rattlesnake boots to the backside of Mr. Barnes. “Thank you sir, may I have another.” After the game, the Wood Brothers returned to No Teeth for a “family reunion,” while the Sledheads walked – albeit slowly, slowly, slowly – back to Fairfield after absorbing an official A.W.

Woo Crew Traps Dogs

(Brookside)—The “Smoke Riders in the Sky” pulled off an excellent “road trip” to Brookside this weekend and left with a big vict’ry over the rival Dogs. Woo got the surprising win against Mark’s Mutts, broke some furniture doing the gator, and proceeded to parade around the banks of the Five Mile Creek in a toga. However, Woo also managed to leave some calling cards of own that were discovered later and really embarrassed Dog. It seems that some suspicious magazines were left scattered about and in the upstairs bathroom someone left one to “fester.”

Mayors Outgunned by Gamblers

(Biloxi, Miss.)—Everyone knows that you got to “know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em,” no one more so than the Gamblers. Now, it is officially time that the Mayors – the Defending BDFL Champions – learn that lesson. It’s time for the Cronies to pack it up and call it a year. Don’t even send starters in next week, just take the “L,” and wait for next year’s draft. In the biggest “Champ to Chump” slide in memory, A.A.’s team has not lacked “competitive spirit,” they have lacked a pulse. This weekend, the Mayors brought home another Toilet Seat Team of the Weak award and appear to be clogging up the schedule by actually showing up each week.

Return to top