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Bullet's

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"Reportedly, he is still selling women’s clothing like it is going out of style, and will even model it for you if you are into that kind of stuff..."

Bullet's

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Week 2

"Since the game between the Duds and the Gamblers was real, the pucker factor for Johnny went up to unprecedented levels and he looked a little like “sawdust” at the plate and produced some C.S. pop ups that haven’t been spotted in Jefferson County since David Belrose retired"

From Underneath The Rock in Media Void

By Bullet Head

Week 12 in the BDFL...

‘Nauts Shotgun Dogs Knees

(Gardendale)—A.E. (and Bullet) was one of the brave BDFLers to take on all challengers outside of Jurden-Hare Stadium on Saturday night. After overseeing the dismantling of the once-famous “bird cage,” A.E. traveled back to Jugtown to take on the Brookside Bulldogs. And, taking a page from Uncle Ray’s creditor’s book, she proceeded to shotgun Dogs knees and then bludgeon him with empty milk jugs, subduing the Mutts just enough to earn a one-point vict’ry and “Big Momma of the Week” recognition. Meanwhile, Dog had just enough energy to crawl across the street to Uncle Ray’s house, where his uncle was nice enough to let him sleep on the porch with Doolie. “That nut’s not coming in my house.”

Bullets Edge Bootleggers in OT

(Benton)—The Whiskey Runners ran into trouble – and lots of it – when they tried to run their White Lightning down Copperhead Road in Benton. The Wood Brothers may have a high-powered Big Block Dodge, but when push comes to shove it can’t hold a candle to ol’ General Lee. That’s right, the Bullerino borrowed the “01” machine from Hazard County’s Bo and Luke Duke and managed to run the Tennessee Orange Suckers back north of the border. Then the Benton Boys cranked up the stereo to the “Man,” the Boss, as the Bootleggers limped out of town, “James Dean in that Mercury ’49, Junior Johnson running through the woods of Caroline’ even Burt Reynolds in that black Trans Am, all gonna meet at the Cadillac Ranch.”

Blades Clip Monsters in OT

(Lake Cyrus)—In another overtime thriller, Lyle managed to cut the Three-Toed-Tree-Dwellers down to size on the banks of Lake Cyrus. “I’ve got your ‘competitive spirit’ right here,” shouted the angry Sod Busters to no one in particular. Mukes on the other hand has to be feeling a little like another Mike right about now. No, not Bucket, Booger, or Drew… but Shula. It just seems that no matter what the Slothsters do this year… they come up one or two branches short of the top. Sunday’s OT loss however, hasn’t dampened Mukes’ demeanor. Reportedly, he is still selling women’s clothing like it is going out of style, and will even model it for you if you are into that kind of stuff and have $1 million lying around.

Gamblers Top Grenades

(Green Springs)—Finally a decent Class-A, nationally-sanctioned softball team showed up at George Ward Memorial this season. And, they proceeded to rip apart Johnny Cockstud and his comrades. In fact, reports are that the game was over before it ever got started. Apparently, there are no more “deals” between the Real Deal and the Commish. So, for the first time ever, Iron got a taste of the Gamblers “A”-game. Since the game between the Duds and the Gamblers was real, the pucker factor for Johnny went up to unprecedented levels and he looked a little like “sawdust” at the plate and produced some C.S. pop ups that haven’t been spotted in Jefferson County since David Belrose retired.

We Will Rock You

(Dolodome)—“Loud and Proud!” In one of the loudest, most boisterous and decadent match-ups in the history of the BDFL, the PowerSleds played host to the Woosiers in the Dolodome that witnesses said at times “levitated.” No one but the participants stuck around to watch this one. Reportedly, all league officials left the premises and Woo and Mad Jack kept score all by themselves. (With assistance from Nedermeyer and Dee from Twisted Sister.) The outcome – however – didn’t mean as much as the debauchery. Both sides reveled in the Metal Frenzy that saw the Sledheads claim a vict’ry over the Woo Crew. Rumor has it that both teams will petition the BDFL to play all their games against each other in the future. “I Wanna Rock!”

Woodies Win Again

(Greystone)—Apparently, the “Scrushy Solution” has removed a good deal of protection from Merlin’s backside, so when the Woodies started kicking him in the @$$ this weekend, it actually hurt. On the “non-profit” side of the healthcare industry for years, Hime was hard-pressed to feel any sympathy for the Pixie Dusters. In fact, Kawliga seemed to enjoy kicking Merlin from the 6th hole right through the 18th hole at Greystone. The Woodies are now practically a “lock” to represent the young, vibrant, and up-and-coming Green Horn Division, that is just one Dan Reeves Bonehead play away from having one “Big Daddy Bowl Championship Trophy,’ already on its mantle. Hime now finds himself in a position of hoping the real “Chiefs” don’t clinch “home field” too soon and let Priest rest in week 17 during the “2nd Annual Big Daddy Bowl.”

After Further Review...Mayors win 14-11

Disclaimer: This story was written before we knew the Mayors won. Some words have been changed to protect the writer from libel.

(Riverchase)—Speaking of Big Daddy’s, Mike Price is one proud user of Viagra that you won’t see featured in any advertisements, at least not until he fulfills his Destiny. That could come at Week 17, if the Cheetahs can manage to hold onto the top spot in the Gray Beard Division. The Sin Wagon has been dragging for the past few weeks, and they still are dragging by losing to Defending Champions this weekend. The Cronies won't be defending their title this year, but they will be scouting Thursday’s Turkey Day Classic so they can see what kind of show they need to put on in a couple of weeks for the SWAC Championship.

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