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"And, the strategy paid off as morale stayed high for the Gamblers and they put the Bristol Bootleggers “into the wall,” like Rowdy Gaines schooling Cole Trickle in the 2nd Act of Days of Thunder. By the time the Wood Brothers got back on the track the Real Deal was in Vict’ry Lane kissing Nicole Kidman"

From Underneath The Rock in Media Void

By Bullet Head

Week 3 in the BDFL...

Kawliga Scalps Johnnys on Black Creek Reservation

(Black Creek)—The Commish was nothing short of “giddy” after his 2-0 start, but nothing can quite bring the Johnnys down to size more than a trip to Black Crick where they play a slightly different brand of ASA Class “C” ball. In this “Sibling Civil War,” Kawliga broke out the un-certified DeMarini’s and proceeded to go deep early and often against the over-confident Cockstuds. Hime’s vict’ry also boosted his presence in the upper-echelon of the Green Horn Division, gave the Grey Beard’s a black eye, and just may have given Bocephus some (false) hope that his team will still be on the warpath when the weather turns cold.

Sleds Ride Crazy Train to Vict’ry in Shelby County

(Ol’ Weatherly)—Mad Jack’s blaring Power Sleds overran the Barney’s at the stone gates of Ol’ Weatherly, crossed the railroad tracks with a thunder louder than Albert’s Grenada and sent the peaceful deer in a hasty retreat up the hill. Then the Sled’s really started cranking when they took the field against the defending champion Mayors. Mad had the Cronies looking for noise ordinances, disturbing the peace policies and colored Christmas lights restrictions – anything – to slow the Sleds. And, nothing seemed to work. On their vict’ry ride down the mountain, and then abrupt turn for home on the railroad tracks, the only thing neighbors could hear for miles around was the blaring of Ozzie’s “I’m going off the rails on a Crazy Train!”

Slothsters Can’t Muzzle Mark’s Mutts

(Brookside)—“You can forget us ever opening a consignment shop here,” Mukes told the angry Brookside crowd as his Monsters limped away from the banks of the Five Mile Creek with their tails between their legs after a hard-fought defeat at the paws of the Dogs. The Son of Slim had “scouted” Brookside as a prime location for a second-hand clothing store. “But we can’t run a business where there is lawless abandon,” Mukes said. “They can brag about Booger Bass, John Wayne Franklin, a few Slovensky’s and Burr’s that have successfully made an exodus from here. But there’s no way we could come here and expect to make a profit, keep are vehicles from being keyed, and dodge the glass from broken vials, bongs, and Coke bottles.” Dog, meanwhile casually walked across the street, across the tracks and started celebrating at the VFW.

Wizards’ Social Call to Black Belt Pays Off

(Benton)—The Pixie Dusters seemed very out of place at Rebel Stadium in Hayneville this weekend. Merlin doesn’t care too much for the Chevy’s, hot dogs and apple pie (and Bud Light) that make the atmosphere so American and middle class in Lowndes County. The Wizards like to remain isolated amongst the strata of “life on 280.” However, the schedule-maker said they had to go to rural America and face the miss-firing Bullets, so they packed up their Lexus’, Mercedes, and Escalades’ and headed south to the Black Belt. Once on the field, the Wizards had an easy time “waxing” the Blanks and sending the Bullerino to an 0-3 start in ’03. (For Bullet’s post-game quotes click here: http://www.thebdfl.net/03TheBullisticReport.htm

Sin Wagon Rolls

(Hayden)—Not since private dances at Bates Manor – 14th Avenue Townhouse Apartments – in the mid-80’s had there been this much excitement for the Woo Crew. The Cheetahs were coming to Smoke Rise to put on a show. “They put on a show, alright,” said a dejected Tommy T. after the Woosiers were tamed, as opposed to entertained by the Mike Price Dancers. Price’s abrupt departure from T-Town has been good news for the felines who have taken full advantage of the grandfatherly advice, guidance and knowledge thus far in 2003. Could the Cheetah’s be Destiny’s Darlings this season?

Lawyers, Guns & Money Not Enough to Cut Down Blades

(Pelham)—A self-inflicted sickle wound got infected, started festering, and almost cost the CPA’s this weekend. Not the CPA’s with the Law Degree, but the Pelham Pencil Pushers with the background in Lawn Sciences, were the ones who had to snatch vict’ry from the jaws of the Juggernauts. In the middle of L.A.’s weed-whacking, A.E. tried to distract the Blades just enough to cause a critical cut and then the NOW-powered ‘Nauts planned to cash in. But in this version of Law vs. Lawn… Lyle “fought the Law and the Law didn’t win.” I wouldn’t buy a Honda anytime soon, production is about to hit a rough spot. (NOW – National Organization for Women)

Gamblers Thunder to Win in Thunder Valley

(No Teeth, Tenn.)—Kenny “The Real Deal” Breal took his Kenny Rogers Gamblers on one the longest road-trips in BDFL history this weekend. The Gamblers went completely around Alabama on their way to No Teeth, Tennessee, so they would always be within range of a friendly casino. And, the strategy paid off as morale stayed high for the Gamblers and they put the Bristol Bootleggers “into the wall,” like Rowdy Gaines schooling Cole Trickle in the 2nd Act of Days of Thunder. By the time the Wood Brothers got back on the track the Real Deal was in Vict’ry Lane kissing Nicole Kidman.

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