Wizardz Winnerz

Wizardz Winnerz is back for another run

Week 1

The No Challenge Challenge

When challenged by the Evil Las Vegas Oddsmakers (ELVO) to resume their battle for “prognosticatorial” supremacy in the BDFL, The Great Wizardo paraphrased Clubber Lang when asked about a second fight with Rocky sneering, “The Wizard does not accept ELVO’s challenge because there is no challenge. However, the Wizard will take this opportunity to beat on ELVO some more.”

Clubber Lang in Rocky III

Cheetahs v. Dogs

Mark Burr and his flea-bitten Hounds begin their title defense with a tall task when they lock fangs with Butch Neal’ “Furry Felines” but will find it a scratching post too high to clear.

Wizard’s Winner…the Cheetahs.  

Armadillos v. Sloth Monsters

The Great (& Glorious) Wizardo says given how many porcine parts he has inside him, it’s a good thing Sloth Monster owner/coach Mike Dismukes is not Jewish. No matter, the Sloths will find Kurt Prewitt’s “Armed Dildos” are not overly religious anyway.

Wizard’s Winner…the Armadillos.  

Power Sleds v. Blitz

Jerry Fritz will be dialing up plenty of “Grits Blitzes” come Week One and Jack Barnes’ “Bolts” had best bring plenty of surge protectors to survive the day’s festivities. However, it won’t be enough for the Sleds to escape a rolling blackout.

Wizard’s Winner…the Blitz.  

Bullets v. Vulcans

Bullet Hand and the “Macon County Moonshiners” leave the friendly confines of Trey Pettimore Stadium for Legion Field to battle the “Fire Gods” in Week One. The Wizard says the Vulcans are more “smoke ‘n mirrors” than anything and suspects they’ll find their chances of winning on opening day are as mythical as their namesake.

Wizard’s Winner…the Bullets.  

Gamblers v. Bandits

There’s no vice Kenny Breal and the “Bayou Biloxi Boys” will not happily entertain if it leads to BDFL glory. Or even if it doesn’t. However, the “Frito Banditos” know a thing or two about being outlaws and will be more than happy to share their knowledge.

Wizard’s Winner…the Bandits.  

Bellcows v. Freebirds

Jaimie Hand the “Fabulous Fowl Balls” change their name almost as often as Jaimie changes his underwear, which is an admittedly low bar to clear. Nonetheless, when David Belrose’s “Bovine Cow Patties” get to Black Crick, not be confused with Ol’ Man Kelsie’s Crick, they’ll find the short fences of Black Brick Ballpark inviting when they launch party begins.

Wizard’s Winner…the Bellcows.  

Grenades v. Juggernauts

Allyson Edwards and the “Mother, Jugs & Speed” Nauts cracked the BDFL glass ceiling on multiple occasions before shattering it for good with a BDFL title a couple of years back. And are looking to add more hardware when they open the season against the Commish. The Wizardo forecasts a photo-finish but says the Nauts will not be denied.

Wizard’s Winner…the Juggernauts.  

Mayors v. Wildcats

Alan Arrington and the “Hangin’ Chads” hit the road in Week One with Jerry James and the “MildCats” awaiting their arrival. Going against a Gray Beard Division member is always risky but the Wizard says Jerry will have just enough catnip on hand to vanquish the visitors.

Wizard’s Winner…the Wildcats.