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One Team at 4-0, One Team at 0-4
Blitz Keeps Blitzing; Outscores Merlin, 54-50:
“Break up the Blitz!” Wow, what a start for the Druid City Blitz.
“We may never see Jerry Fritz again,” said one prominent BDFL
insider. The BULLETIN will review the facts for its loyal
subscribers: Fritz is a no-show at the Miller Genuine Draft
allegedly because of a wedding, or graduation, or some type of
social function that apparently ranked higher than the fantasy
league he is in. The Commissioner lets him get away with it. He is
not heard from in cyberspace, in text, or in many emails. The season
begins, and his Snoopie Shooters start knocking down BDFL opponents
like the Red Baron and the Luftwaffe. In Week Four, the Fritz Gritz
Blitz blind-sided the Pasco County Wizards down in Tampa Town,
54-50. So, after the first quarter of the 2014 season, the Blitz is
the only undefeated team in the BDFL at 4-0.
Bullets Put A.W. on Woo Crew, 26-3:
“Man, what an @$$-whipping,” said one of the spectators leaving the
Hayden Hayfields Sunday afternoon. He was talking about the Benton
Bullets dismantling of the Smoke Rise Woosiers in Blount County this
weekend. This one was never close. The Bullets dominated in every
facet of the game. Bullerino’s defense held the Woo Crew to
3-points, and helped Tommy T. earn the “Toilet Seat Team of the
Weak.”
Wildcats Run Wild; Whip the Slovaks in A.W. Fashion, 26-5:
In the weekends only other A.W., the Western Hills Wildcats whipped
the Slovaks, 26-5. That 21-point margin qualifies for an A.W. So,
the James Gang continues to do some good things this season in the
BDFL, namely win some games. As for the Fightin' Slovaks, ASlo’s
team is so bad they may be relegated to the “yet-to-be-formed” BDFL
youth league with Matthew Hand, Benjamin Hand, Jacob Burr, Jackson
Barnes, Ezra Bishop, and Harry Slovensky. And, the Pi Cap Caravan
would not even be favored in that bunch according to some of “Nots”
(Maldonado’s) old sources. “Good Night!” Is it too soon to give up
on the Slovaks in 2014? Of course it is not. Give up on ‘em now,
they are the only winless team four weeks into the season and it
looks like a long, cold, winter is coming in Bratislava.
Cronies Slide Past Sleds, 35-17:
“Fairfield is once again overshadowed by Birmingham.” There is only
so much Ronnie James Dio, Ratt and Edgar Winter you can listen to
before your ears start to bleed. Once that process starts, you have
to “shut it down,” call Big John and Bufu and start making plans for
next week. Mad Jack Barnes recognized that about half way through
this weekend’s action, and just gave up against the Magic City
Mayors. The Cronies then eased to an easy win over the Mean Machine,
35-17. The Mayors decision to move at least some of their games from
Legion Field to Regions Park is now starting to pay some dividends.
Gamblers Go Deep, Slamming Grenadiers 30-18:
The BULLETIN could just dig up any old headline or article on this
one. It goes something like this. The Commissioner, Chris Hand, old
Iron himself, a pretty good Class C softball player in his day, goes
to the Gulf Coast for a little softball and some general R&R. Once
in metro Biloxi, The Commissioner is invited to some sort of
“Softball Extravaganza” by the Dixie Mafia. Maybe he is or isn’t
wined and dined and there’s a chance he partakes in some “local
libations.” By the time the Haitian Blue Dots are removed from the
microwave (or freezer), Old Iron is in way over his head, and he
flat out gets embarrassed. The final score from the Mississippi
Sound, Gamblers 30 – Grenadiers 18.
One, One-Point Game; Cheetahs Edge Armadillos, 20-19:
There was a pair of “one-point,” down-to-the-wire, gut-wrenching
games in the BDFL this weekend. The first one took place out in
Duncanville, Texas, where the Riverchase Cheetahs edged the
homestanding ‘Dillos, 20-19. Prewitt, who lives in N.C., travels to
T-Town often, and plays some of his “home” games in Duncanville (or
DeSoto, Texas), didn’t really know whether he was coming or going by
Sunday afternoon. Meanwhile, the Cheetah Man can always find some
action in any sort of decent-sized city, whether it is “Artie’s
Angels,” or just the local “Show and Tail.” Then, relaxed on game
day, the Sin Wagon was able to roll to a one-point win over K.P.
“It’s rolling, baby.”
Deacons Down Dogs in Another One-Point Contest, 24-23:
After a fluke-ish vict’ry in Week One, the Mt. High Blue Deacons
were thoroughly embarrassed the next two Sundays in the BDFL. In
fact, it looked like the St. Bernard Bishops were in way over their
heads. But, there’s nothing quite like taking on the Brookside Dogs
to end a losing streak. It wasn’t easy, but the Blue Bishops managed
to eek their way back into the “W” column, with a one-point,
come-from-behind win over Mark’s Mutts. It just doesn’t seem like
Dog’s 19-year losing streak in the BDFL will end anytime soon. “If
you can’t beat an upstart, expansion team,” said that same BDFL
insider, “how can you possibly hope to compete for the Helmet O’
Silver.”
Still at Mike’s, Mukes Out-Duels Hime, 41-31:
When we last left these two (Mukes & Jaimie) they were at Mike’s in
Fultondale, doing their best to put away some old-fashioned Miller’s
in the tiny, clear bottles. They are called Pony’s. Now, it was hard
to count the empties, and hard to separate the consumption of Mukes
and Jaimie aside from the “body-count” that Albert had in the
festivities. In fact, the “game” kind of moved up the hill – behind
Mike’s – to Albert’s old house. Up the hill from the pond, and
behind the house, and the ancient trampoline, the official “count
and amount” took place late Sunday afternoon. The law firm of
Robitowitz, Robitowitz, & Robitowitz had to be called in to
“officiate.” When the final count was complete, it was Sloth
Monsters 41 – Wooden Warriors 31. |
