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Surprise, Surprise…
Is
anyone shocked (or surprised) that there is just one winless (0-3)
team in the Big Daddy Football League three weeks into the 2014
season, and their name is… the Fighting Slovaks! Surprise, Surprise.
(Now onto the BULLETIN for Week Three)
Molly Hatchet – Flirtin’ With Disaster Tribute (’cause I feel like
it)
I'm traveling down the road. I’m flirtin’ with disaster. I’ve got
the pedal to the floor. My life is running faster.
Woo is Running Faster:
Old
Number 44, Tommy T., was a speedster in his day, and he’s running
fast early in 2014 in the BDFL. After a heart-breaking,
gut-wrenching loss in OT last week, the Woo Crew rebounded with an
OT win in Week Three. The Smoke Rise Woosers took care of the
Riverchase Cheetahs following a 32-32 tie, with the longest scoring
play. For that matter, Old Number 22, Butch Neal was also a
speedster in his day. The key ingredient in the Woosiers’ win
probably was that his logo and that of WARTS looks a lot like the
album cover for Molly Hatchet in the 1970s and ’80s.
I'm out of money, I'm out of hope, it looks like self destruction.
Blue Deacons a Blue Embarrassment:
This
is what happens when you invite a boy to play a man’s game. Heck,
even the girl he replaced did a better job than this. Yes, we are
talking about Wally’s Buddy, Anthony Bishop, and his woeful Mt. High
Blue Deacons. For the second straight week the Bumbling Bishops
brought home the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak.” For the second
straight week, the Turkey Creeksters scored in single digits. But,
this week to add insult to incompetence, the Bishops lost to the
“previously winless” Pasco County Wizards in A.W. fashion, 34-8.
This is embarrassing. Nuff Said.
Well, how much more can we take, with all of this corruption.
Corrupt Cronies Take it on the Chin:
Corruption at City Hall can only take you so far, especially when
you venture outside the City Limits of the Magic City. The Mayors
found this out the hard way, when they ventured down to Lowndes
County this weekend, and got their “clocks cleaned” by the Benton
Bullets. No one likes to go into Rebel Stadium in Hayneville on a
Saturday Night, or on a Sunday afternoon, for that matter. The final
score on the L.A. Mountain Dew scoreboard read, 26-22, in favor of
the home team, but the game was not as close as the final score
would indicate.
We’re flirtin' with disaster, ya'll know what I mean. And the way we
run our lives, it makes no sense to me. I don't know about yourself
or, what you want to be – yeah. When we gamble with our time, we
choose our destiny.
Gamblers Lose to Sleds:
Speaking of gambling, try going into Fairfield some time and taking
on the defending, and 4-time BDFL Champion Power Sleds, now that’s
“flirtin’ with disaster.” The Dixie Mafia knows that now. Kenny B.’s
team was totally out-classed by the Mean Machine in what turned out
to be a 25-11 rout by Mad Jack’s Metal Heads. “They don’t make
seemless, 20-foot-long, iron, rebar by accident,” said Frank
Slovensky (circa 1959). “It takes real men with real machines, and
real hot fire.”
I'm travelin' down that lonesome road. I feel like I'm dragging a
heavy load. I've tried to turn my head away, feels about the same
most every day.
Blitz Feelin’ the Same – Winning Every Day:
The
not-so-fighting Slovaks seem to be losing every day. On the flip
side, the Druid City Blitz is winning every Sunday in the BDFL (at
present). These two truths seemed “self evident” in Week Three. The
Slovaks lost again, falling to 0-3, and remaining the only “winless”
team in the league. Meanwhile, Fritz’ Gritz will stay
“free-and-clear” from the Miller Genuine Draft for a long time, if
they keep up these winning ways. The (3-0) Blitz are Fantasy
Football’s only undefeated team after subduing ASlo in a close one,
27-24.
Speeding down the fast lane, baby, we’re playin' from town to town.
Constantly Moving Armadillos Outscore Iron:
From
town to town, Marvin, S.C. to T-Town to “parts unknown” in between,
the Duncanville Armadillos are picking up some steam and some
Marriott points this season through three weeks. After crashing with
the Commissioner for a few days, the Opossums on the Half-Shell,
out-scored the Mineral Springs Grenadiers this Sunday, 30-25, on the
quad. It’s kind of like a home-away-from-home for Prewitt. Again,
K.P.’s “not so-secret” weapon, the flying drone, equipped with a
camera, helped him find some holes in the Commissioner’s secondary,
not to mention some cleavage, and the ’Dillos got the vict’ry. “I
prefer that little ol band from Texas,” said a victorious Prewitt
when the proceedings had concluded. The BULLETIN knows he was
referring to ZZ Top, and the BULLETIN knows they couldn’t hold a
candle to Hatchet.
The boys and I have been burnin' it up, can't seem to slow it down.
I've got the pedal to the floor, our lives are runnin' faster, got
our sights set straight ahead, but ain't sure what we're after.
Flirtin' with disaster, ya'll know what I mean. You know the way we
run our lives, it makes no sense to me. I don't know about yourself
or what you plan to be – Yeah, when we gamble with our lives, we
choose our destiny. Yeah, we're travelin' down that lonesome road.
Feel like I'm dragging a heavy load. Don't try to turn my head away,
I'm flirtin' with disaster every day. (It ain’t for everybody. But,
you bet your sweet @$$ it is for ya’ll in the BDFL.)
Wooden Warriors Bit by Dogs:
Talking about a disaster, the Black Creek Wooden Warriors were
blind-sided by the Five Mile Brookside Bulldogs this weekend, 37-20.
Jaimie had invited the Dogs to Doo Doo Central (Fultondale – more
specifically – Black Creek) for a weekend cook-out, get-together,
type-deal. And, the one’s that ended up eating the white, rancid,
chalky meat were the home-standing Kawliga’s. It got so bad at one
time (Jaimie looking mighty green), that Mark Burr actually – in a
moment of weekness/compassion – offered to help him. But, old
Bocephus just took the loss, and headed to Mike’s to get some
relief.
Flirtin' with disaster, babe, ya'll know what I mean. You know the
way we run our lives, it makes no sense to me.
I
don't know about yourself or, what you plan to be – Yeah. When we
gamble with our time, we choose our destiny.
Yeah!! We're travelin' down that lonesome road. Feel like I'm
dragging a heavy load. Don't try to turn my head away, Bop, bop,
bop, Yeah! I'm flirtin' with disaster every day.
Mukes Muddled by Mildcats:
Speaking of Mike’s, Mukes was there to greet Jaimie… and they washed
away their sorrows with a couple of cases of Pony’s. Mike Dismukes
was whipped by the James Gang in Week Three. So, the Three Toed Tree
Dwellers and the Wooden Warriors just closed out the week, licking
their wounds, knocking back some original Miller’s in the tiny
bottles, and listening to some Bounty Hunter, Gator Country, Dreams,
Beatin’ the Odds, Jukin’ City, and (of course) some Flirtin’ With
Disaster.
Molly Hatchet (on Flirtin’ With Disaster original recording):
Danny Joe Brown, Dave Hlubek, Duane Roland, Steve Holland, Bruce
Crump, and Banner Thomas |
