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TheBDFL.com The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League 2011 |
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From underneath a rock in Media Void
Lucky #13
Cheetahs IN – Juggernauts OUT In Week 13, the Riverchase Cheetahs earned an “all important” seventh vict’ry of the season, and at the same time dealt the Jugtown Juggernauts a crushing 8th defeat. By now you all know the ramifications of that. But, that doesn’t ever stop The Bulletin from “beating a dead horse.” Thusly, the Cheetahs are now eligible for the Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS) and the ‘Nauts are out. They have been eliminated by virtue of the “Bullet Rule.” To continue the rather obvious, the Sin Wagon now rolls toward a potential 5th BDFL Championship, while the Rice Rockets will remain a “card carrying” member of the Null Set Club (those that have no BDFL title – and you know who you are). The details of this particular game aren’t that important. But just for the record, the Cheetahs won by a TD in a high-scoring affair, 43-37. Allyson’s team will now be relegated to the Big Mullet Series, where they will probably play Oklahoma State in the first round.
Mukes IN: Sloths Administer A.W. to Blitz – Pick Up Crucial Win Number 7 The Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters got to the 7-win plateau by putting an “old fashioned” A.W. on the staggering Druid City Blitz, 35-14. Celebrations were breaking out in oaks, pines, elms, and maples all across West Hoover and East Bessemer as the Three Toed Tree Dwellers partied like the Ewoks at the end of Star Wars Episode 6 – The Return of the Jedi – when the evil empire finally ended. If Mukes’ point total holds up he will have a spot in the Big Dance. Meanwhile, the season unraveled in a hurry “down the stretch” for Fritz and his Yuppie-Spangled Homewood contingent. He’ll remain a member of the Null Set Club for yet another year.
Woo IN: Woosiers Virtually Lock Up Spot by Subduing Sleds Tommy T. was grinning in the face of abuse Saturday night. He must have known something good was going to happen with his Smoke Rise Woosiers on Sunday. And, he was right. His Hayden Haymakers landed enough solid punches to knock out the Fairfield PowerSleds by a TD, 23-17 in Week 13. The win advances the Woo Crew to the BDCS, where he has already vowed revenge on the Benton Bullets, who defeated the Woosiers twice this year in Rugged Red Neck Division play, to “sweep the season series.” The Master Woo asked rhetorically, “When does it matter?” And then, he answered his own question, “We’ll get you in the playoffs.” We shall see. As for the Mean Machine, they were comfortable enough “in the clubhouse” to rest some players and get ready for the Big Dance coming up in two weeks.
Bullets Put A.W. on Slovaks Bullet Hand loves playing the Fightin' Slovaks. But, then again, who doesn’t (except of course the Gulf Coast Gamblers). The Benton Bullets welcomed Cousin Adam to Rebel Stadium in Hayneville – the county seat of Lowndes County – in the heart of the Black Belt, and then proceeded with the proverbial A.W. This one was never in doubt. Bullet was aiming for a 42-14 score as a duplicate to the Iron Bowl final, but the EuroTrash Talkers did not cooperate (they missed an extra point) and the Bullerino came up 5-points short on offense. The Slovaks have been a lock for the Mullet Series since well before mid-season, so they have realistic expectations. The Bullets are looking forward to the BDCS, awaiting a potential “three-peat” over the Woosiers, and the opportunity to once again hoist The Grand Daddy.
Gamblers Lose Again – This Time by One to the Woodies The Gulf Coast Gamblers may have the most points this season in the BDFL, they may have already locked up a spot in the Big Daddy Championship Series, and they may have the inside track to the overall Number One Seed. However, they cannot beat the (insert Hand-family related team here) the Black Creek Wooden Warriors. While the throwback band “Clutch” may be slipping in recent concerts along the Gulf Coast, Kawliga & Company continue to pile up vict’ries and scalps in 2011. Old Bocephus’ one-point win against Kenny B. moves the Tribe’s record to an impressive 11-2. Now, the big question, can he close it out with a championship?
Staying Alive: Mayors Keep Hope Alive with Narrow Vict’ry over Dogs It is a long shot, because his point-total is so low, but the Mayor continues to defy logic and remain mathematically alive for a spot in the BDCS. It probably won’t happen, because 8-other teams have the requisite number of wins to qualify for the Big Dance and have more points than the Cronies. But anything is possible (except for Oklahoma State to catch Bama in the BCS). Even though the Brookside Dogs lost to the Magic City Mayors (23-21), Mark’s Mutts have enough wins to put the Dogs in the BDCS (as the 8th seed), and have approximately a 25-point lead over the Mayors. So, we’ll watch closely in Week 14 to see who captures the last available spot in the Big Dance.
The Ultimate Bonehead Moves from Merlin to Commissioner Holy guacamole, the Commissioner found a new low in Week 13. According to WARTS and the Elias Sports Bureau, the Mineral Springs Grenadiers set a new standard for the “Bonehead of the Week” award. The Commissioner left 40-points “on the bench.” That gaffe not only cost Old Iron the game, but it contributed to the Commish receiving an A.W. from the Wizard – of all people. Who loses to the Wizards? Who gets an A.W. from old D.A.? The answer is the Grenadiers, who fall to 3-10 on the season in the most embarrassing way imaginable by a final score of 36-11. Chris – in addition to being officially “over the hill” at 50, will now probably have to set up an appointment with Doc Guffin to remove the grass from you-know-where, and check out any other damage done in this woeful week.
Where are they now? Brian, Scott, and Grant Guffin (sons of former GHS Team Doctor – Doc Guffin) – Brian is a successful proctologist in Birmingham and has operated on some nameless BDFLers. He attends most Bama games. Scott is a preacher. Grant owns and operates Flashlight Films that produced the Nick Saban movie, GameChanger and the Alabama’s Greatest plays DVDs – Defining Moments. The Guffin's are the second most famous and influential trio of brothers in Gardendale hist’ry, right behind the Hand’s. (In case you are keeping score at home – and we know you are – the Cornelius’ are third, followed by the Townes’). |
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The
Bulletin - Week 13