The Bulletin

Week 2: Man or Machine

The Bulletin is NOT A.I. – and, there’s nothing wrong with that: Here’s the Bulletin for Week Two 2026: Volume 32, Number 2.

“We’re artificial and intelligent,” take that A.I. (Although The Bulletin likes the description of the BDFL in A.I. – see bottom. You got man and you got machine: According to the Hand/Slovensky NASCAR Winston Cup Theory: If Bobby Allison or Dale Earnhardt won a race; it was the man in the driver’s seat. If anyone else won a race (Petty, Yarborough, David Pearson, or D.W., etc.); it was clearly the machine. When Donald K. Hand (aka Papa, D.K., or Handy Man) won a drag race at Lassiter Mountain – it was the man. If any of the other yahoo’s (including Big Daddy Dan Garlits) won a drag race on the historic quarter-mile strip – it was the machine that won. Footnote / Disclaimer / Acknowledgement: However, since Dan Garlits’ legitimate nickname is “Big Daddy,” and his many accomplishments pre-date the BDFL, and he has his own Drag Racing Museum in Ocala, Florida… and he is in the Motor Racing Hall of Fame… The Bulletin is willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. SEE FOOTNOTE AT BOTTOM.

Man or Machine:

"Man vs. machine" often explores the conflict, balance, or relationship between human identity and automated systems or technology. In most cases, humans rely on their own strength, instincts, logic, emotion, and physical limits. Meanwhile, machines operate on calculation, speed, and endurance with the assistance of some type of synthetic energy or fuel.

The Games – Hime Looks and Smells Strong to Start Season:

After a 50-point win in Week One in the Big Daddy Football League, there was really nowhere for the Black Crick Freebirds to go, but down. The F’birds are neither man nor machine. They are – of course – animals, as are a large portion of the nicknames for the BDFL teams. However, the Freebirds possess a bus that has “big wheels that keep on rolling.” They roll so well that they can carry you home to see your kin. That’s exactly what Jammin’ Jaimie Hand did after his formerly wooden warriors defeated the Jugtown Juggernauts in Week Two action, in A.W. style, 32-8. In Gardendale, that “kin” that Hime sings of are the aforementioned Papa (Donald Hand) and the world famous Babo (Mary Ann Hand), who turned 85-years-old this past week. The Bulletin says: Happy Birthday, Babo!  

Sleds Slide Down vs. Gamblers:

The Fairfield PowerSleds are the only real “machine” nickname in the BDFL. In fact, Mad Jack’s team is often referred to in this publication as the “Mean Machine.” It is a contraption like none other. The PowerSleds are fueled by rock-n-roll and Birmingham coal. Despite the connotation of a “sled,” the PowerSleds actually fly (kinda like Santa’s sleigh – but faster and with exhaust and flames… and, no Reindeer in sight). It’s a magnificent machine to behold. It typically comes down out of a cloud or “imminence front,” and the sound of its engines are ear-splitting. Now, imagine being the Gentlemen Gamblers up from the Gulf Coast, and seeing the PowerSleds decent on the Dolodome. You got no hope. Because, you’ve got man (Gamblers), and you got machine (Sleds). In this scenario, the machine usually wins. But, the Dixie Mafia flipped the script, and defeated the Sleds 27-19, to send the machine’s a lesson.  

Vulcans Neck Pinch Dogs:

In Star Trek, a Vulcan (Spock) is an alien from Planet Vulcan (kind of like a machine). In the Magic City, Vulcan is a big, metal statue (with a lighted handle, that people can climb up into, so a machine of sorts). In the BDFL, they’re a scrappy, young-but-naïve team, that doesn’t know their limitations. Dogs are just dogs. In this Week Two match-up, it was the Nawf B’ham Vulcans that jumped out early on the defending champion Brookside Dogs. “Marks Mutts” tried to mount a comeback, but they fell short. Just for the record, the Bulleting is NOT calling anyone short… not Dog, Jerry James, or K.P.     

Mayors Too Much for Armadillos:

Speaking of K.P., ol’ Kurt Prewitt couldn’t get his act together in Week Two of the BDFL season, and the Magic City Mayors looked like they were on stage at the Alabama Theatre. The Cronies are always comfortable in front of a crowd and the Mayors played this past weekend like they had a chip on their shoulder. Or, maybe they just had some new red tape in their big old bureaucratic machine – with a new silicon chip – and they were able to take advantage of the situation and churn out a vict’ry in a game that was never really as close as the final score would indicate.  

Blitz Beat Bandits:

The Bulletin is not really sure what the Blitz is in relation to the BDFL. The Bulletin is pretty convinced that the Bandits fall under the category of “man.” But, both of these teams have a machine related to their nickname. The Bandits have Old Barry’s black Trans Am with the big ol’ eagle on the hood and the T-Tops. And, usually rock-n-roll music blasting off the T-Tops. On the other sideline in this Week Two match-up… daBlitz utilizes a World War I bi-plane known as the Red Baron. Don’t ask us why, just be glad that the commissioner has a good imagination and gives the BDFL franchises logos, helmets, nicknames, and back-stories. The story of this game was pretty simple: the Bi Planes bombed the Trans Am's by a final score of 32-28 in a game that was closer than many experts expected.  

Mildcats Mauled by Mukes:

In the underwhelming game of the week, the Sloth Monsters slinked into Five Points West (dreaming of five fingers or claws), and tried to defend against the Western Hills Wildcats’ five-wide-out formations. It was rough going at the beginning for the Sloths, who found it tough to get any traction or any kind of grip – with no opposable thumbs – in this under-the-radar game. The “James Gang” actually looked like they had the upper hand… er, claws. But, Mukes found his machine… and the Sloths climbed into the vintage White Grenada with the Yellow Canoe tied on top… and rode it to vict’ry at Fair Park looking a lot like the Hurricane Hell Drivers from the State Fair’s of the 1970’s at B.I.R. – Birmingham International Raceway – inside Fair Park. Old Man Kelsey’s hay was everywhere. What the Machines (AI) Say About B.I.R.: The Birmingham International Raceway (BIR) was a famous 5/8-mile paved oval short track located at the Alabama State Fairgrounds. BIR was the historic stomping ground of NASCAR's famous "Alabama Gang" (Bobby Allison, Donnie Allison, and Red Farmer) and hosted legendary oval racers like Richard Petty and AJ Foyt. It closed in 2008 and was demolished in 2009.  

Bellcows and Iron Battle in Mineral Springs:

If you drive west to the dead end of Fieldstown Road (actually it’s a “T”), a left turn will take you to Lassiter Mountain in about a minute. A right hand turn at that intersection, which is NOT a dead end, will lead you to Mineral Springs in about two minutes. So, that’s the Bulletin’s geography traffic flow lesson for the day. If you happen to miss the turn up the hill (Lassiter Mountain) and keep going straight… you’ll eventually end up in Fultondale – and, nobody wants to do that. Except, maybe David Belrose. You see, Belrose is still a pretty big deal there. Not for really any notable reason – except – he got the heck outta there, and moved up the ladder to Bragg Junior High, GHS, and Fieldstown. On Sunday, he left Fieldstown and ventured to the aforementioned Mineral Springs for a BDFL game, and it did not go well for the Bellcows. The Grendiers were waiting just across the railroad tracks, near the old hiding place of the famous Fieldstown Bomb Squad, where the Commissioner’s team ambushed old BellHead. It wasn’t pretty.

Bullets Shot Down by Cheetahs:

Butch and Bullet both said the same thing upon exiting Bryant-Denny Stadium on Saturday evening after an afternoon game was turned into a night game. “It wasn’t pretty, but it was a W.” Bama messed around again in the first half, but stormed back in the second half (again). This time the Tide scored 50 to beat Free Shoes University by 14-points. The next day, in BDFL action… Bullet jumped ahead early, but it was Butch turning things around in the mythical second-half of the game. The Benton Bullets had the lead after the noon NFL games, but my midway thru the 3pm games, the Sin Wagon had rolled to a comfortable lead, and locked things up even before their QB1 and RB1 got into action on Monday Night Football. So, the Cheetahs bash the Bullets in the fantasy world, but – you can bet – Butch and Bullet will be back in T-Town this coming Saturday Night to welcome in the Gamecocks of South Carolina. “Without Steve Spurrier or Lou Holtz, I like our chances,” said Bullet and Butch at the same time again.  

 “It’s all about the kids” - Week Two in the JrBDFL:

Meredith Hand’s nickname (for at least a week) has been “Point 6,” referring to her 0.6 vict’ry in Week One in the Junior League. She and her Benton Butterflies faced off against the Lowndes County Labs in Week Two in a sister-brother grudge match. Big Sister opened up a can of whoop @$$ on the unsuspecting Milton (Labs). So, the Butterflies are off to a 2-0 start and apparently getting lost in the value, information, entertainment, and general whimsy of the BDFL website. In other Benton news, Matthew Hand (Southpaws) also won in Week Two in the junior league.  

The BDFL (according to A.I. - machine):

The Big Daddy Football League (BDFL) is a long-running fantasy football league with roots tracing back to Birmingham and Dolomite, Alabama, officially established in 1995.

Overview and History Origins: The league originated from the Metro Football League in Birmingham, AL, in the early 1990s before becoming the BDFL in 1995. Structure: It operates with a dedicated website (TheBDFL.com), tracking division standings (such as Gray Beard, Yellow Hammer, Green Horn, and Red Neck), weekly matchups, roster moves like Waiver Wire Weeks, and unique draft formats like the Progressive Priority Draft (PPD).

Culture: The league weaves local Alabama flavor, sports history, and humorous weekly write-ups covering team nicknames (like the Brookside Dogs, Benton Bullets, or Fairfield PowerSleds) into its seasonal competition.  

Dan Garlits Footnote:

"Big Daddy" Don Garlits, the legendary drag racing pioneer, has a storied history with Lassiter Mountain Dragway, a historic track located about 2 miles west of Gardendale, Alabama. Several key highlights connect Garlits to the historic drag strip: The 1963 Booking: On October 20, 1963, Garlits was famously booked to run at Lassiter Mountain Dragway during the glory days of early drag racing. (The Bulletin believes this is the exact date Big Daddy had his doors blown off by Donald Hand. We saw the trophy.) The Famous Fire Burnout: In the early 1970s (circa 1972–1973), Garlits returned to Lassiter Mountain for a highly anticipated match race against Clayton Harris. Spectators from that era vividly remember Garlits performing a spectacular "Fire Burnout" down the track. Lassiter Mountain Dragway, which opened in 1958, eventually changed its name to Birmingham Dragway in 1973 under new ownership, but it remains heavily associated with the iconic gasser and early top-fuel eras that Garlits helped define. His museum is easy to find in Ocala, Florida off I-75. It shares an exit with Jaimie, Parks, and Bullet’s favorite roadside restaurant that serves a daily buffet: The Show & Tail.  

Man vs. Machine (BDFL teams and machine they use):

Mayors (adding machine with red tape)

Grenadiers (throw grenades)

Gamblers (one-arm bandit; wheel of fortune)

Juggernauts (GHS Rocket)

Bandits (Black Trans Am with T-Tops and Eagle on hood)  

PowerSleds (Mean Machine)

Animals:

Armadillos

Bellcows

Cheetahs (Sin Wagon)

Dogs (skates or skateboard)

Freebirds (bus with big wheels that keep on turnin’)

Sloths (White Grenada with Yellow Canoe tied on top)

Wildcats  

Object or inanimate object:

Bullets - fired from a machine (gun)

Blitz (WWI biplane)  

Mythical Creatures:

Vulcans