The Bulletin

The Bulletin is up and running in 2026

It's Week 1 but, deuces are wild; 2-OT Games; 2 one-point games; 2 A.W.’s  

“BTO is playing at the MPAC.”

Translation: That’s Backman Turner Overdrive is performing at the Montgomery Performing Arts Centre. “I saw ’em at Cowboys in Dothan 40 years ago and they were washed up then. The next night I saw the Guess Who at Cowboys in Dothan. It was the same guys in both bands.” They had the rights to both bands, so one night they were BTO and the next they were the Guess Who. That was 40 years ago before the BDFL even started. So, there’s no telling who is actually in the band and how they’ll sound now. You know what sounds good? The BDFL cranking up another season. It’s better than Classic Rock-n-Roll, or at least… just as good. Here’s the Bulletin for 2026: Volume 32, Number 1. Here we are… cranking it out again. For 32 years, the Bulletin has been “calling like it sees it,” and it has been “calling it both ways.” So, buckle up for another year of Fantasy Football’s Number One online publication. This is not A.I., however… “we’ve been artificial and intelligent for 32 years.”  

All Along the Watch Tower – Sleds Look Strong:

"There must be some kind of way out here, said the joker to the thief. There's too much confusion. I can't get no relief.” The team that couldn’t “get no relief,” in Week 1 in the BDFL was the Druid City Blitz. Jerry Fritz’s “breakfast bunch,” known as the “Gritz Blitz,” was blindsided by the Fairfield PowerSleds in the opening weekend of the 2026 BDFL season. Mad Jack Barnes (who still umps softball on a ‘cash only’ basis) still calls it like he sees it all these years later. He called down the thunder like Wyatt Earp in Week 1. Jack’s favorite movie quote is Kurt Russell’s (Tombstone) Wyatt Earp line: “You tell ‘’em I coming! And, hell’s coming with me!” Well, that’s exactly what the Sleds did to the Blitz to open the season. There was no getting out of the way. The Sleds looked to be in mid-season form and they poured it on the timid team from Tuscaloosa’s soft side. All the Gritz can do now, is to put it behind them… pick up the pieces, and get on with the long season that is more like a marathon than a sprint.  

Bullets Shoot Straight to Start Season:

Skynyrd wrote: “Life is so strange when it's changin', yes indeed. I've seen the hard times and the pressure's been on me, but I keep on workin' like the workin' man do. And I've got my act together, gonna walk all over you. Gimme back – gimme back my bullets.” The Benton Bullets gave it all they had to open the season in the Big Daddy Football League. And, their effort was awarded with a 1-point vict’ry in Week 1 over the Nawf B’ham Vulcans. The Bullets were able to shoot straight to start the season thanks to a precise preparation prior to draft night, and a calculated strategy with their starters leading up to Game 1, including disregarding Internet Info that said their RB-1 wouldn’t play with a groin, gr, gr, groin injury. The running back in question – Ashton Jeanty – did play… did catch 2-TD passes, and did lead the Bullets to a win. As for the young, but naïve Vulcans, they’ll start the season at 0-1, and hope for easier competition in the weeks to come.  

Birds Beat Bellcows:

The Fieldstown Bellcows (by way of Fultondale) will also start the season 0-1. They lost to the (don’t call me Fultondale) Freebirds of Black Crick in Week 1 in a weird looking game, to say the least. The F’birds jumped out to an early lead in what is now commonly a weird, spread-out, NFL week… with games stretching from Wednesday Night – to Australia – to Monday Night. “Jammin’ Jaimie” Hand put more than a shrimp on the barbie to begin the year. The Freebirds roasted some real beef, as the heifers just couldn’t seem to do anything right in this rivalry game, and were consequently served up for a big loss in Week 1. It was simply an A.W. – actually, a Double A.W., 57-7 was the final score. Hime said the win was simple, and despite all the accolades, autographs, and selfies… he remains a Simple Man: “Momma told me when I was young, come sit beside me, my only son. And listen closely to what I say, and if you do this it'll help you, some sunny day,” maybe even in the BDFL.  

Bandits Creep up on Gamblers:

More Skynyrd: “Two feets they come a-creepin' like a black cat do. And two bodies layin' naked… creeper thinks he got nothin' to lose. So he creeps into this house, and unlocks the door… and as a man's reaching for his trousers, he shoots him full of 38 holes!” The Bandits creeped up on the unsuspecting Gulf Coast Gamblers this past weekend, and when the smoke cleared, Old Barry had an opening game vict’ry against the Dixie Mafia. It was a sweet beginning to the season for the Bandits, who are still looking for their first-ever BDFL championship. They are just not looking in their closet or under their bed for fear of finding Mr. Sandman instead of the Grand Daddy Trophy. The “Real Deal,” Kenny Breal isn’t worried about starting the season at 0-1. He’s seen enough to know that eventually things along the Red Neck Riveria will “even out.”  

Dogs Bite It – Lose to Cats:

The Seattle Seahawks won again in their Super Bowl re-match with the New England Patriots to start the 2026 season in the National Football League. However, in the BDFL, the Brookside Dogs lost to the Southside Cheetahs in a remake of last season’s Big Daddy Bowl. For the defending champion Dogs it was not that big of a deal to lose in Week 1, especially after their epic playoff run last year. The Sin Wagon – on the other hand – was thrilled to begin the new season with a win, and a chance to enact just a little bit of revenge against “Mark’s Mutts.”  

Commissioner Gets Finger Licking Vict’ry:

In the immortal lyrics of “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet,” from BTO: “I met a devil woman. She took my heart away. She said I had it coming to me. But, I wanted it that way…” The Bulletin is not sure – despite this song – that this is the way the Commissioner wanted to start the season. And, no one is saying that the Jugtown Juggernauts are a “devil woman.” What is simply being reported in this publication, is that this is just Week 1 in the BDFL, and “you ain’t seen nothing yet… b-b-b-baby… you ain’t seen nothing yet.” The ‘Nauts and the Mineral Springs Grenadiers were matched up in a big reunion game at Ed Bruce Field at Rocket Stadium, and the Commish was in prime position to pick up a win right out of the gate. The Grenadiers apparently visited KFC before the game (to speak to the Colonel – Colonel Sanders, that is – from Kentucky), and avoided choking on a chicken bone to drop the ‘Nauts to 0-1 on the season with a convincing 33-20 KFC original recipe win in the BDFL. “Up there – in Kentucky – they just call it chicken.” Note: the Commish also gets credit for bringing a Crimson Tide vict’ry home from the Blue Grass State. But he admits, the fried chicken is better at the Southern Sportsman Lodge in Lowndes County.  

Mayors Mince Mildcats:

In the underwhelming game of the week, the Magic City Mayors ventured over to Fair Park to battle the Western Hills Wildcats. The Bulletin staff was unable to procure credentials to the game as the city now requires kickbacks from the media in order to attend or cover events and press conferences, et. al. Unofficial reports, and still yet unverified eyewitness accounts state that the game was pretty uneventful and that there - despite rumors to the contrary - were no weapons fired, although neighbors report that they heard gunshots. The best report that could be extrapolated from the evidence was that the Mayors minced the Mildcats. In fact, it was an A.W., 55-27.  

Sloths Bow to ‘Dillos:

Just before the start of the season, Kurt Prewitt and Company welcomed in his first grand child. A beautiful little girl. So, starting off the season at 1-0 in the BDFL is just icing on the cake for K.P. On the other sideline, Mukes and his Sloth Monsters fell for the old “banana in the tailpipe,” routine. The Three Toed Tree Dwellers lost focus on the job at hand and came up with a one-point “L” to start the season 0-1. Both teams were seen heading to Harry’s Bar after the game, “yeah… having a grand kid sure will change you,” said K.P. as he was helping Mukes tap another keg.  

TCB by BTO – Surely, You’ve Heard this One:

You get up every morning

From the alarm clock's warning

Take the 8:15 into the city

There's a whistle up above

And people pushing, people shoving

And the girls who try to look pretty And if your train's on time

You can get to work by nine

And start your slaving job to get your pay

If you ever get annoyed

Look at me, I'm self-employed

I love to work at nothing all day. [

[From "Takin’ Care of Business" by Bachman Turner Overdrive]

Week One in the JrBDFL – “It’s all about the kids.”

The Bulletin has learned that Milton Hand scored the most points in the JrBDFL in Week 1, despite leaving 30+points “on the bench,” in the form of Caleb Williams (Chicago Bears). His Lowndes County Labs obviously won their game, and the Selma Southpaws (Matthew Hand) scored the least amount of points to open the season, and absorbed a figurative A.W. in cyberspace. Meanwhile, the Benton Butterflies (Meredith) won the closest game of the opening week, notching a vict’ry by 0.6 in a league that awards fractions and mediocrity.   Washed Up Acts Bullet Saw at Cowboys in Dothan (1986-1989) Joan Jett & the Black Hearts, BTO, the Guess Who, the Outlaws, Steppenwolf, and not washed up: Molly Hatchet. Went backstage with Danny Joe Brown and Molly Hatchet, and got on Joan Jett’s tour bus (no comment on what transpired from that point forward).