The Bulletin

From underneath a rock in Media Void

MEDIA VOID - The Bulletin is the official weekly rag, fish wrapper, voice, mouthpiece and media outlet of the Big Daddy Football League (BDFL). The Bulletin originates each week from underneath a rock in Media Void. According to Mr. Webster, 'living under a rock" means to be oblivious, or ignorant, to what happens in the outside world. It is used to describe a person who doesn’t know something that any "normal" human being is supposed to know, usually in relation to recent, or current, events. In the BDFL, Media Void is a fictitious city in a fictitious country which is free from all types of media and information, where everybody in the city-state wanders aimlessly around uninformed about everything from the news, to weather, to sports and politics. The Bulletin is located in Media Void to help serve this community.

Rolling Rock and the mysterious "33"

Freebirds Fly High – Sickle Sloths:

“Fly high Freebird!” blared the juke box. The Bulletin thought it was just a figure of speech at Harry’s Bar when Jaimie told Mukes, he’d “hang half a hundred on him,” above the sound of the music, and in front of the ‘Welcome to Gardendale’ sign – 69 nice people live here. It turns out, the Fultondale Freebirds bettered that by three, as the Southern Rockers scored 53 points on the Sloth Monsters. Mukes avoided an A.W. by scoring 33 points in the losing cause. A total that would have earned the Sloths a vict’ry over half of the Big Daddy Football League in Week Four, and oddly enough, TIE them with four other teams, as five franchises scored exactly 33-points in Week Four. In other numbers games, a trio of BDFL teams began the weekend with dismal 0-3 records. Two of those three teams were able to get their first wins of the season, including the Freebirds, who might be able to battle back into contention on the strength of this particular 53-point outburst.

O as in ArmadillO – Duncanville Drops to 0-4:

The Duncanville Armadillos were 0-3 and now they are 0-4. K.P. & Company spent little or no time working on their BDFL game plan or starting line-up this past week. The Armadillos made the relatively short drive down from Charlotte to Athens, Ga. to support the University of Alabama. According to Kurt’s itinerary, everything went down as scheduled at Sanford Stadium, where Bama defeated UGa, 24-21. Prewitt took to social media and cyberspace to clain credit for the Tide vict’ry. Rumor has it, he’s even thinking about heading to T-Town this coming week to single-handedly keep the winning streak alive. David Belrose and his Fieldstown Bellcows are planning to greet K.P. at tailgating activities, and he says he won’t even mention the 32-25 vict’ry by the Bell Heads over that 'Lil o’ team from Texas (by way of Charlotte).  

Bandits Remove 0-3 Label – Victimize Vulcans:

The Altadena Bandits erased “winless” from their resume. In Week Four in BDFL action, the Bandits defeated the North Birmingham Vulcans, 28-17. Barry was pretty happy with the outcome for his team that had suffered some bad luck at the outset of the fantasy football season. Meanwhile, the defending champion Vulcans continue to struggle. Nic Hand had everything fall his way over the last two years, but it looks like the luck has run out for the Son of Hime in 2025. The Vulcans hope to turn things around quickly, and are planning some drastic changes going forward.  

Dogs Remain Undefeated – Upend Blitz:

It’s not often that a “battle of unbeatens” would find its way out of the lead story, and down to the middle of The Bulletin. But, that’s exactly what happened in the game between two previously undefeated teams. The showdown between the Druid City Blitz and the Brookside Dogs lacked any pre-game hype. Therefore, the match-up kind of slipped down the list of “things to do this weekend.” The game really wasn’t that close, as “Mark’s Mutts” jumped out to an early lead and cruised to a 32-19 vict’ry over the “Gritz Blitz.” According to the standings on the official BDFL website, the Dogs are the only remaining undefeated team in the league just four weeks into the season. That also means that Brookside is one of the favorites to make the Bid Daddy Championship Series, advance in the playoffs, and capture the Grand Daddy Trophy.  

Thirty-Three and OT:

Earlier in this edition of The Bulletin, it was mentioned that five teams scored exactly 33 points each in Week Four in the BDFL. A more in-depth look into the 33, we see that three teams won, one team lost (Mukes), and one team tied (Grenadiers). Since there are no ties in the BDFL (although there are ties in the NFL – see Sunday Night Football – Cowboys 40, Packers 40), the Mineral Springs Grenadiers and the Magic City Mayors went into overtime this weekend at Legion Field. When the smoke cleared from the battlefield, it appears that the Cronies were awarded the win over the Commissioner by the BDFL’s OT rules, which state that the team with the most “roster spots” to score gets the vict’ry over the other team. There are other tiebreaking rules if necessary, including the end to almost all multi-paragraph tie-breakers… and that is the old, proverbial, coin flip – or – official sanctioned game of rock, paper, scissors.  

“33” Wins for the Sleds – Sin Wagon Derailed:

On the back, and sometimes front of a (green) bottle of Rolling Rock beer is the Number 33. There are numerous legends, myths, and traditions associated with the old, “33.” Here are the three most plausible. One: it was just a mistake in printing and labeling and left on the back of early bottles. Two: it’s the year prohibition ended, and a time to celebrate for millions of Americans. Three: it’s the number of words in the description of the beverage on the actual bottle. Butch and Mad Jack were actually sippin’ on some Rolling Rocks to celebrate Bama’s win over the Bulldogs, and before they knew it… there BDFL game came and went. Both looked at the scoreboard to see that the PowerSleds derailed the Sin Wagon, 33-25, in what some would call a “grudge match,’ but it didn’t seem that way to those in attendance.  

‘Nauts Score 33 – Quiet the Cats:

The Jugtown Juggernauts scored 33-points on their way to a 33-22 vict’ry over the Western Hills Wildcats. Harry S. Truman was the 33rd President of the United States, and he would have liked the way the ‘Nauts took care of “bidness,” in Week Four in the BDFL. In Super Bowl 33, John Elway earned MVP honors by leading the Denver Broncos to a win over the Atlanta Falcons. Following the win by the ‘Nauts, their Greg Desmond-inspired Rocket Man mascot managed to do 33-push-ups right on the 33-yard line at Driver Field at Ed Bruce Rocket Stadium.  

Gamblers Adminster A.W. – Bash Bullets:

Meanwhile, The Bulletin had to venture all the way down to the Gulf of America to find the only A.W. this week in the BDFL. The Gulf Coast Gamblers whipped the Benton Bullets, 36-10, in an embarrassing rout. The “Real Deal,” left no doubt in this one… running (and passing) all over Bullerino. It was a banner weekend for the “Dixie Mafia.” On the opposite sideline, the Bullets didn’t return empty-handed from the Redneck Riveria, they loaded up the WEAK-FM “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” trophy and headed back upstream from the Mobile Bay, Mobile River, Tensaw Delta, and Alabama River back up to Benton… just in time for some Fried Chicken and banana pudding at the Southern Sportman Lodge.  

Week Four in the JrBDFL – “It’s all about the kids.”

After four weeks in the Junior League, the mysterious “Connor” is still the only undefeated team at 4-0 on the season. The Bulletin has identified the individual as a Chemical Engineering major at the University of Alabama. His name is Connor Perciavalle. He’s the step-brother of former Alabama and NFL quarterback A. J. McCarron. Thus far, he is finding the JrBDFL to be a proverbial “cake walk.” In other action, Meredith Hand finally got her first vict’ry of the season by defeating Matthew… and Milton notched a vict’ry too.

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