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TheBDFL.com The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League 2010 |
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Week 10
Grenadiers vs. Sloth Monsters Mike Dismukes and the “Helena Limb Loungers” still cling to the only winning record in the moribund Greenhorn Division heading into Week Ten, but needs to keep pace this weekend when they host Chris Hand and the “Bombingham Banana Eaters” on Sunday afternoon. Unfortunately for the Sloth Monsters, notching another “dubya” in their belt will not come easy because the Grenadiers, despite a lackluster Week Nine victory, have impressed pollsters all year with a balanced attack that threatens to overrun much of the BDFL. The Great Wizardo still sees the Sloths as little more than a “one trick pony” with Adrian Peterson carrying the water the great majority of the time, and does not think that will supply nearly enough horsepower to slow down the Grenadier fall offensive. Wizard’s Winner…the Grenadiers.
Power Sleds vs. Wildcats Jerry James and the largely clawless, and you could argue “clueless”, “Rocky Ridge Fe-Lions” have gone from being the hunter to the hunted in short order as the BDFL begins to dig into the second half of the schedule, and the Great Wizardo sees little in the Wildcat line-up to suggest that will change in the near future. However, the Cats get another chance to prove their mettle on Sunday when Jack Barnes and the “Fairfield Mean Machine” roll into Rocky Ridge this weekend, but the Wizard sees precious little that would lead him to believe the Sleds are capable of bringing down any big game. Further, the Wizard is not entirely sure how capable the Sleds are of taking down much smaller game such as the Wildcats, and says they will find that even getting a largely docile Wildcat by the tail is not necessarily a roll in the hay. Wizard’s Winner…the Wildcats.
Wizards vs. Juggernauts Alyson Edwards and the “ Talladega County Devils with a Blue Dress On” have kept the tines in their pitchforks razor sharp all season, and are probably salivating at the prospect of sinking said pitch forks into the soft, fleshy hide of Merlin’s “Lollipop Guild” this coming weekend. The Wizards have slipped dangerously close to the “Bullet Rule” precipice, and can only afford one more regular season loss before being eliminated from contention. Even worse for the Wizards, given the performance of both teams so far, it is a safe bet they will lose what little cushion they have after Week Ten. Still, Merlin has more than few tricks up his sleeve although the Wizard says they are little more than a few uninspiring sleights of hand, and will hardly be enough to stop the Nauts from rolling through the Wizards like Sherman did Atlanta during the Civil War. Nevertheless, the Juggernaut onslaught will be missing a few key components this week, which should be enough for the Wizards to slide in with a backdoor cover. Wizard’s Winner…the Wizards.
Gamblers vs. Cheetahs Debauchery is nothing new to Kenny Breal and the “Big Easy Bayou Boys” although it’s certainly possible they may see a few things in the back of the “North Shebby Sin Wagon” that could make the hard hearted Gamblers blush. Nevertheless, the Great Wizardo says to expect said debauchery displayed by both teams to be little more than a wash when push comes to shove although the governor may need to put the National Guard on high alert just in case things get of control. And it wouldn’t be without precedent since roughly fifty years ago the troops were called into Phenix City, AL to institute something akin to marshal law after the aptly named “Sin City” had become so infested with prostitution, gambling drugs, and every other conceivable crime that the local authorities were overwhelmed. Of course, being across the river from Columbus, GA and Fort Benning wasn’t much help since military bases tend to be havens for illicit activities, all in an attempt to keep the troops spirits up of course. While the Great Wizardo doesn’t forecast anything quite so dire as that, he does think the Gamblers can roll enough lucky sevens to win, or at least cover. Wizard’s Winner…the Gamblers.
Wooden Warriors vs. Woosiers The Great Wizardo’s good buddy D.K. Hand saw NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt (Wizard’s Note: He’s the Earnhardt that could actually drive a stock car.), and D.K.’s personal favorite, cut a tire on the last lap of the circa 1991 Daytona 500 allowing Derrick Cope to win instead, which was Cope’s lone NASCAR victory, causing D.K. to compare such horrendous luck to a female going to Tuscaloosa for an oral copulating contest and getting lockjaw in Bessemer on the drive down. The Wizard says such a description fits Jaimie Hand and the “Splintered Splendors” after they posted a 41 point explosion in Week Nine, only to see the opposition hang an even more impressive 44 spot leaving the Warriors with but one more mulligan before getting kicked to the Mullet Series. Unfortunately for Jaimie, things don’t get much easier this Sunday when Tommy Todd and the “Love Guns” welcome them to west Blount County. The Woosiers are already getting fitted for a tux to wear to the year “Big Dance”, and are planning to practice tap dancing on the Warriors in preparation for the season ending soiree. The Great Wizardo says that although the Warriors will put up far more than token resistance, it won’t be enough to hold off the Woosiers when the arrows run out, and that Tommy and the gang will ultimately dance the night away. Wizard’s Winner…the Woosiers.
Bullets vs. Blitz Jerome Hand the “Red Tape Rebels” have been on a roll for much of the year. After helping run up multi trillion dollar debts at the federal level with their “nanny state” approach, the Bullets have also found their “gimme’ back my bullets” slogan has roused the faithful to their cause and helped propel them to an impressive run of late after a very slow start. Standing in their way on the road to redemption is Jerry Fritz and the “Tusk-a-loser Pachyderms”, a team that has struggled mightily much of the year before rising up to swat the Wooden Warriors down in a Week Nine donnybrook that saw the Blitz needing every one of their 44 points to finally seal the deal. However, the Great Wizardo says that explosion was more of a one day rumble for the Blitz than anything else, and that they will find much stiffer resistance in the form of the Bullets this weekend. The Bullet line up hardly strikes fear into anyone, but the Blitz have little more to counter it than the wildly erratic Vince Young, and that in the end it will not be enough to carry the Blitz again, or even cover. Wizard’s Winner…the Bullets.
Bootleggers vs. Mayors Jon Wood has been beaten up, or “rubbed” as it’s known in the stock car racing world, so much in 2010 that his crew chief has ordered Jon to ram the pace car during the next caution because John’s hit every other car on the track with his big, black Dodge, and his crew chief wants him to perfect. Meanwhile, Alan Arrington and his “Inside the Beltway Backroom Bureaucrats” have spent much of the year ladling out pork to their constituents with great success, something a stirring vict'ry last week only served to enhance. Now the Great Wizardo is not overly impressed with the Mayors’ line up heading into Week Ten, but when you factor in their opponent, it helps make it much more palatable. However, not palatable enough to help the Wizard choke down the 6.5 spread laid down by ELVO. Wizard’s Winner…the Bootleggers.
Fighting Slovaks vs. Dogs Mark Burr and the “Dawg Pound” continue to stay among the BDFL leaders heading into Week Ten, and are already beginning to cast an eye toward the play offs that are rapidly approaching. However, the Dogs can’t take their eye off the ball long for too long if they expect to keep their momentum on Sunday although gazing around for an extended period of time should be fine since their Week Ten opponent will be Adam Slovensky and the lowly “Floundering Slaves”. The Fighting Slovaks have toiled at or near the bottom of the BDFL all season, a position they have had plenty of years to become accustomed to, and at this point may want to consider buying rather than renting their bottom-of-the-barrel digs since moving up the chain is becoming less and less likely with each passing week. The Dogs are fresh off a nail biting win last week while the Fighting Slovaks are still patting themselves on the back after upsetting the Power Sleds, an upset that was little more than a mild one at best, but the Great Wizardo also cautions that it will take a lot more than patting themselves on the back for the Slovaks to go toe-to-toe, or toe-to-paw as the case may be, with the Dogs on Sunday afternoon. Mark’s well balanced attack will be more than enough to sweep aside any threat the Slovaks might pose while continuing to signal to the rest of the BDFL peckin’ order that the Dogs are for real. Wizard’s Winner…the Dogs. |
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Week 10 |
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