THE WARTS REPORT

Getting it right for years

Woosier's Accurate Real Time Scoring, known by its acronym WARTS, is the BDFL's official scorekeeper

HAYDEN - WARTS has been tediously tracking the scoring for every league player for every BDFL game for over 12 years. With a highly trained staff of number-crunchers, WARTS never makes a mistake. In this bottom line driven world, WARTS is the trusted name in scoring accuracy with expert recall of BDFL scoring history and scoring rules interpretation. Eerily patterned after the ancient Chinese samurai warrior Cyrus Woo's system of accurately accounting for and logging all the dead he killed during his many battlefield vict'ries, WARTS is sharp and to the point. According to ancient Chinese onion-skinned manuscripts from the 400's, the famous Woo once defeated Attila Mundzuk in a friendly neighborhood skirmish with smoke, mirrors and caffeine as his chief weapons before the young Attila got his start with the Huns.