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THE OFFICIAL INTERNET SITE OF THE BIG DADDY FOOTBALL LEAGUE |
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TheBDFL.com WIZARDZ WINNERZ 2004 |
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The Wizard's Quote of the Week "Jon Wood and Bullet get together for the second installment of their series to determine who has the fewest branches on their family tree, which team is married to the most first cousins, who can pick a banjo the best, and which team can squeal the loudest when the BDFL’s version of the “Hatfields and McCoys” tangle on Sunday"
Past Picks |
ELVO leads race to POTY |
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The Wizard gains no ground in Week 12 in the Race for the coveted POTY award |
ELVO holds off the Wizard to keep the lead in the race for the POTY LAS VEGAS - The Wizards pucker factor tightened up a notch in Week 12 as he went 4-4. The sand is falling and the pressure will continue to build unless he can make a quick run. On to the picks...
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From The Crystal Ball
By Spaceman Spiff Grenades vs. Power Sleds Back in the era of the great ships of the line, resplendent with their billowing sails, the “Fairfield Mudpackers” were the scourge of the BDFL and the very mention of their name struck terror in the hearts of the league hierarchy. Poor drafts, rebellions against the league commissioner, and clandestine marriages had long since relegated the Sleds to a second division foe, but in recent weeks they have regained some of the splendor of yesteryear and are making a charge to the front of the Gray Beard Division after what seemed like a waltz to the division championship for Chris Hand and the “Nad Pumpers”. The Grenades have been resting on their laurels in recent weeks and find themselves in a pitched battle for the right to go to the big dance in Week 16 and only three weeks to secure it. In a marquee match-up, the ‘Nads come visiting from “Big Orange Country” with high hopes of leaving the Sleds feeling the blues by day’s end. However, when these two get through rubbin’ fenders and tradin’ paint at the Dolodome Dirt Track, the Grenades most likely will not have anywhere for their ‘nads to ride shotgun on the way home, but wouldn’t need it even if they did. Wizard’s Winners…the Power Sleds.
Bootleggers vs. Bullets Jon Wood and Bullet get together for the second installment of their series to determine who has the fewest branches on their family tree, which team is married to the most first cousins, who can pick a banjo the best, and which team can squeal the loudest when the BDFL’s version of the “Hatfields and McCoys” tangle on Sunday. Neither squad is taking dancin’ lessons in preparation for the play-offs and both are already making winter vacation plans for the off season. Nevertheless, in a grudge match like this family pride is on the line, and the Wizardo sees the Bullets using enough of the tricks they learned from Charlie during their two tours of duty in Vietnam to cover. Wizard’s Winner…the Bullets.
Gamblers vs. Woosiers There has been little joy in “Woosierville” of late as the “Loosier Eleven” have been scrambling to punch their ticket to “the Dance” in three weeks. A string of injury-plagued losses have them on the brink of the “Bullet Rule” being exercised for the first time in league history. Meanwhile, Kenny Breal and his “One-armed Bayou Bandits” have a perfect opportunity to avenge a season gone horribly awry by bagging his fellow Red Neck Division foes and spoiling the BDFL coronation the Woosiers had been planning only a few short weeks ago. Unfortunately for Tommy, the only smoke rising above Hayden this weekend will be his distress signals calling for help. Wizard’s Winner…the Gamblers.
Wizards vs. Sloth Monsters Week Thirteen in the Green Horn Division sees a match-up between a pair of teams that had high hopes in August only to see those hopes dashed against the deadly rocks of the BDFL peckin’ order. With the play-offs well beyond their reach, the “Transylvanian Tree Twisters” and the “Fizzling Fizards” are playing to keep their monetary losses to a bare minimum and a desperately needed victory would do a world of good in helping either of them achieve it. The closest the Sloth Monsters have come to a silver lining in the clouds over Silver Lakes has been have been a few stray thunderstorms in western Hoover while the Wizards have long since gone astray of the yellow brick road with Kansas and Toto nowhere in site. Nevertheless, Merlin and the “Magical Mystery Tour” should have enough potency left in their boiling cauldron to keep the “Frog Monsters” from turning into a price long enough to escape the Met with a victory. Wizard’s Winner…the Wizards.
Wooden Warriors vs. Fighting Slovaks Time heels all wounds, but it will likely take decades before Jaimie Hand and the “Black Crick Banshees” fully recover from the great Birmingham News “Kick Off Cash” scandal of the late 80’s that robbed the Woodskins of a rightful victory and the $800 that went with it (he had a system). The scars are still fresh in the minds of the Warriors and this weekend will provide a chance for the Tribe to seek tribal justice against the descendants of the Slovensky clan when they come out and play on Sunday against the “Old Country Aristocrats” in Rocky Ridge. The Slovaks have made no plans to go down without first circling the wagons, but in the end you can expect the Wooden Warriors to head back home with more than a few Slovak scalps in tow. Wizard’s Winner…the Wooden Warriors.
Cheetahs vs. Mayors It’ll take a program to keep track of the good guys and bad guys this weekend when the “Pork Barrel Pols” welcome the “Sin City Mattress Dancers” to Fair Park in a Gray Beard Division showdown. The champions from two years ago have long since reverted to form and “assumed the position” at the bottom of the league standings while the Cheetahs still hold onto the slightest hopes of a repeat title. However, it’s now or never for Butch because the door is closing fast. The Great One says that Butch’s “Buxom Babes” would bed a rattlesnake if somebody would hold its head. The Wizardo also says that “politics makes strange bedfellows” and that the Mayors are more than happy to twist a few arms in their version of “Dollar Diplomacy” when the Cheetahs hit the table tops this weekend. Nevertheless, don’t expect Alan to have enough cash on hand to grease the necessary palms to pull out the win. Wizard’s Winner…the Cheetahs.
Blades vs. Juggernauts Allyson Edwards and the “Jugheads” continue to limp towards the end of a disappointing season that began with so much promise before injuries prevented the Nauts from crashing through the BDFL’s “glass ceiling”. Before Allyson can gather all the King’s horses and men to help put her team back together again, she’ll have to deal with the “Sword Swallowers”, who have been gobbling up most of the BDFL in big, healthy bites so far this season. The Juggernauts aren’t looking for a close shave this weekend, but will most likely get a closer than desired trim from the “Weed Whackers”, and will likely be fleeced of any of their valuables as well to add insult to injury. Wizard’s Winner…the Blades.
Dogs vs. Wildcats Mark Burr’s “Cardiff / Coalburg Canines” have finally sniffed the front of the Yellow Hammer Division after a long struggle throughout the year, but still must contend with the Blades for the fourth and final ticket to the “BDFL Big Dance”. There hasn’t been this much excitement since that little blond kid in “Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory” was trying to find the last golden ticket. If Mark has any plans of hanging on to the lead, he had best cook up something better than the spoiled “white” meat he dug out of a garbage bin behind Food World for a cook-out some years ago. Unfortunately for Mark, the “ChildCats” have begun to grow up some as the season has progressed and could play the spoiler even better than Mark did with the season finish line fast approaching. The Dogs will have to bring more than Ronald “Hot Dog” Sexton and Dwight Sloweez over the mountain if they expect to win, but even if they do find a few thoroughbreds along the way, it still won’t be enough to cover. Wizard’s Winner…the Wildcats. |
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The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blades | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks |
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Concept, names, logos and designs are registered trademarks and intellectual property of The BDFL© 2004 |
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